I often have more questions than answers. As soon as I find the answer to one question, more questions pop up. Is that true for you also?
Having a curious mind can be a delightful asset; this is how we learn! (Well, it’s one way.) On the other hand, unlimited curiosity also means that we are never finished learning, doesn’t it?
In Choice Theory, Dr. Glasser associates learning with fun. Therefore, I’m going to choose the mindset that we who have inquisitive minds must be having all kinds of fun.
At the moment, the questions that piqued my curiosity involve emotions and what we can do about them! For example, let’s say you woke up feeling vaguely discouraged; feeling a little blah. What to do?
You could start by choosing between two possibilities. Maybe you want to change that feeling to something else; perhaps a more uplifting, encouraging feeling.
On the other hand, you might prefer to keep your dull, grey feeling for a while. It’s possible. You don’t have to explain.
For either possibility, I have questions. If you want to change your feeling, what can you do? What would you want to see? To hear? Who would you want to have around you? Where would you want to be? In short, what do you believe would create a different feeling in you?
If, instead, you want to keep that discouraged feeling, what would you do? I’m inclined to believe that one answer would be to continue doing what you are already doing. But there could also be specific activities that could help keep you in your discouraged state. Such as?
Perhaps you could remind yourself of past incidents where you have been less than successful. Or you could contemplate how other people have more love, money, success, etc. than you do; that should help you stay discouraged!
Now let’s try something different. This time, we’ll say that you have started off the day full of joy and optimism. Again I’d ask, do you want to change that feeling? Or would you like to keep it, maybe even build on it?
I’m going to guess that you won’t want to trade in a joyful feeling for something else. However, if you find that too much joy is becoming tedious, the items I suggested in the “keep me discouraged” list could work. Reviewing unhappy incidents and envying others are pretty effective ways to send joy packing.
However, if you want to keep the joy, or even build the joy, what would be effective? What would you like to see, hear, or do? Who would you want to be around? Where would you want to be?
How about when you are feeling angry? Or worried? Or sad? For whatever feeling you believe has taken hold of you, questions can be useful.
First, is this a feeling you want to keep? Or do you want to change it?
Then, if you do want to change it, what do you have control over that could cause a change? Often, the most direct route is through taking some kind of action. It may not need to be a big action. Consider a physical activity such as a walk. Think about connection, reach out to someone. Change the scenery, even if it’s as simple as looking out a different window. Change the sounds, perhaps by choosing appropriate music or even background noise. These are just a few examples of tiny actions we can take that can affect our feelings.
The suggestion here is that when you find yourself discouraged or in some other unpreferred state, ask yourself questions. Who knows what you might learn!
