Reality Check: Honk, Honk!

Posted on September 1, 2024 by RealityCheck

Did you hear the story about the driverless cars that got into an argument in a parking lot and kept honking at each other? Funny story! Funny, that is, unless you live in the neighbourhood and don’t enjoy a 4AM wakeup call.
The story stands out for me because of the impersonal nature of the problem. One of the neighbours said, “There’s no one for me to go down there and have a conversation with….That’s the most frustrating thing; you’re just yelling into the void.”
When we speak to a human, even if they are blowing their horn at the time, we can at least draw satisfaction from having made our case. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Benefit of Small Inspirations

Posted on August 26, 2024 by RealityCheck

While cleaning my desk, I happened to bump the mouse, causing a video to begin playing on my computer.
This video is not a professional production. It’s a little wobbly; the product of somebody who happened to have their phone out during a memorable event.
And this was a memorable event indeed, worthy of being recorded. It captures a few minutes during a high school graduation ceremony when the principal, Dr. Marcus Gause, belts out an a cappella version of “I Will Always Love You” to his students.
In case you don’t remember this song, the lyrics speak of love, the necessity of partings, and wishes for love in the future. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Value of Patches

Posted on August 18, 2024 by RealityCheck

“Patches make the goodbye harder still…” Decades ago, you could hear the song “Oh Very Young” playing everywhere. The artist, formerly known as Cat Stevens, sang of growing up, of life, and in this line, of discarding favourite old jeans.
It’s not hard to find South Shore residents who can’t bear to throw things out. If it’s at all usable, we like to see someone make use of it. We hate waste. Even if it has patches. After all, what does a patch say? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Expectations and the Pictures We Carry

Posted on August 11, 2024 by RealityCheck

Whenever two or more people get together and talk, we have an opportunity to share joy, to create understanding, and to deepen relationships. Getting together can be such fun!
Getting together also creates an opportunity for conflict, and there’s plenty of that, also. Some conflicts are simple disagreements over trivial matters. Others reflect profoundly different viewpoints about how things ought to be.
Even if we can’t remove the conflicts from our lives; it could be helpful if we can develop more understanding of them. To that end, I’ll suggest using a particular Choice Theory concept, the “Quality World,” as a tool to guide us. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: When We Don’t See Eye to Eye

Posted on August 4, 2024 by RealityCheck

A snippet of overheard conversation reminded me of a common source of relationship conflicts. It’s the idea that the people close to you should share your opinions.
In this case, a young woman we’ll call Liz was venting her frustration about a family member named Ella. As Liz sees it, Ella is on the wrong side of many of the hot-button issues of the day. How can she be expected to love and get along with someone who is so very wrong? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: People Who Cope

Posted on July 28, 2024 by RealityCheck

When you think of your circle of friends and acquaintances, you may be able to identify some who fit into a category I call “people who cope.” These are the folks who seem to know what to do, no matter what.
They just happen to show up with a casserole when you need one, or give you a call when you’re down, or pitch in when you’re overwhelmed. They are reliable, people you can count on. Whether you’ve bruised your knee or your feelings, they seem to be able to offer a remedy, some advice, and maybe even a nice cup of tea. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Fear of Embarrassment

Posted on July 21, 2024 by RealityCheck

Many of us have an outstanding ability to find things to fear. Make no mistake, real threats exist, and the related fears can be useful. They tell us to pay attention; look out! However, there are also fears that don’t offer benefits.
One such fear that I believe deserves honourable mention is “fear of embarrassment.” That’s when we fear something that wouldn’t cause a real physical, financial, or other high-impact negative consequence. It would just be embarrassing. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Real Relationships

Posted on July 14, 2024 by RealityCheck

Scams are everywhere and they often involve relationships. Why? People will sacrifice to help out friends or family. Some scammers exploit that loving, generous human quality by pretending to be someone they are not.
There are so many ways to pretend. A voice can be mimicked; apparently now artificial intelligence can create even better fakes than before. Photos, videos, voices; all can be manipulated.
This brings me to the story of Grandma who got a phone call, apparently from grandson Oliver. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Nourishing Recognition

Posted on July 7, 2024 by RealityCheck

Distressing stories abound of people who lack the food they need to nourish their physical bodies. Well-meaning people may ask, “What can I do?
Food deficiency is one example of scarcity. But there’s another area of scarcity where any of us could make a positive impact. It concerns people who are “starved” of recognition.
Basic human needs as described by Choice Theory include one referred to as “power.” The scope of this need is broad, but essentially, we need to know that we are recognized; that we matter. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Irrational Fears or Real Risks?

Posted on June 30, 2024 by RealityCheck

You may have heard that an increasing number of people are affected by anxiety, fears, worries of all kinds.
If you’re not one of those people, count yourself fortunate! Some people are not worriers. Whether it’s a personality type or learned behaviour, whether it comes from faith, family or your environment, freedom from worry is a gift.
Being tormented by fear is a worrying state. And worrying about your fear just makes it worse, right? One source of fear is imagining “what could happen.”
Despite (or perhaps because of) our ability to get news and information from many people, places, and viewpoints, it can be difficult to distinguish between real risks and irrational fears. Continue reading →

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