Reality Check: The Deliberate and the Impulsive

Posted on September 14, 2026 by RealityCheck

Impulsive action or deliberate action? If you’re looking for a standard to guide your life, which do you think will lead to more effective results?
Impulsive actions can be appealing. The very word “spontaneous” sounds like fun, doesn’t it? Unexpected surprises, laughter, delights of all kinds can accompany impulsive actions. We don’t know what will happen, but it could be awesome!
Then there’s deliberate action. We think things through, examine options, weigh pros and cons. Then we make a conscious choice. Doesn’t sound as much fun, does it? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Wherever you go

Posted on September 8, 2026 by RealityCheck

Once upon a time, a woman I’ll call Tilley knew that she had to move. As she went looking for a new home, she came across a nice-looking neighbourhood. Bob happened to be out walking his dog, so Tilley struck up a conversation with him.
“What are the people like in this neighbourhood?” Tilley asked Bob. He responded, “What are the people like in the neighbourhood where you live now?”
“Oh, they are wonderful! Always friendly, welcoming, they look out for you, ready to help you. I love my neighbourhood; I hate to leave, I just need a smaller house.”
Bob’s response, “I think you’ll find the people here to be just the same. You’ll love it here.”
Next day, Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The World We Want

Posted on September 1, 2026 by RealityCheck

Is the world the way you would like it to be? I can think of some possibilities for improvement; you probably can too. Let’s try a less ambitious question, “Is your life the way you would like it to be?”
In Choice Theory, Dr. Glasser suggested that we create and maintain a set of internal pictures that reflect what we want. He calls it our “Quality World,” our personal picture of the world we want.
At first glance, you might think that the Quality World is simply stuffed with pictures of things we want; perhaps new cars or houses or a million dollars. Indeed, Glasser does include things as one of the categories in our Quality Worlds.
There are other categories as well. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Problems, Questions and Distractions

Posted on August 25, 2026 by RealityCheck

We can’t know for certain what life will bring to us from one day to the next. Perhaps it will be joy and satisfaction. I hope so. However, it’s likely that sooner or later, every one of us will encounter some difficulties along the way.
When that happens, sharing those difficulties can help to reduce the pain. Have a conversation; talk about it.
However, you may have already experienced the reality that some of those conversations help; others don’t. A conversation about problems could bring us closer together or it could drive us further apart. Dr. Bob Wubbolding addresses the second possibility as he writes, “When someone dumps his or her problems on you…”
Continue reading →

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Reality Check: That’s a Good Question!

Posted on August 17, 2026 by RealityCheck

Do you spend much time talking to people? Some people spend lots of time in conversation; others very little. Some of us need to talk for work or to fulfill other responsibilities. And you may notice that some people find conversation satisfying, while others don’t.
If we look at conversation from a Choice Theory perspective, it’s easy to see that talking can help to satisfy our basic needs, such as for love/belonging and fun.
Different types of relationships, of course, lead to different types of conversations. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Small Achievements? Worth Recognizing

Posted on August 11, 2026 by RealityCheck

If you’ve been thinking that it’s time to put yourself on a path to getting your life together, then setting and achieving goals will likely be part of that process.
Your goals might include habits or attitudes that you want to give up. And you might have a few goals around what you want to acquire or achieve.
It’s common to find goals in a workplace. While they might be referred to as objectives or quotas, they essentially state “what we want.”
A difference you might notice between goals at work and personal goals is in the area of accountability. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: To Share or Not to Share

Posted on August 4, 2026 by RealityCheck

Setting goals can seem like a straightforward idea; everyone has an understanding of what “goal” means. Yet when we focus seriously on goals, two quite different kinds emerge. In some circles, they are known as go-up goals and give-up goals.
Go-up goals are what we strive toward. They could be achievement goals, like winning a race. Or relationship goals: getting married, starting a family. Ownership goals are popular; many of us want to have a house, a car, maybe even a puppy.
The give-up goals are just as important. Bad habits come to mind: smoking, overeating, scrolling on the phone when we could be doing something productive. You may find it’s easier to create a list of give-up goals than go-up goals. Not easier to achieve, mind you. It’s just easier to create the list.
Now that you’ve created your lists of goals, who, if anyone, do you share them with? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Go For It!

Posted on July 28, 2026 by RealityCheck

If you spend any time looking at life management strategies, the topic of goals is sure to come up. Last column, I looked at goals from the perspective of what we might want to give up. This time, I’ll take the more usual approach; let’s look at the goals we want to move toward, acquire, or achieve. What do we want to go for? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: When We Choose To Give Up

Posted on July 21, 2026 by RealityCheck

What does it mean to “give up”? Perhaps the first picture that comes to your mind is surrender. We’ve thrown our hands in the air, reached our limit, “That’s it; I’m done.”
Sounds pretty negative, doesn’t it?
On the other hand, giving up can be a helpful, indeed a necessary step toward improving our lives. In recent columns, I’ve taken a look at basic human needs: needs that include freedom, fun, love/belonging and more.
To satisfy those needs, we often focus on what we want to gain. What do we need to add to have the life we want? Now, here’s another piece to consider: What do we want to give up?
Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Staying Alive

Posted on July 14, 2026 by RealityCheck

Have you ever taken a CPR course? Or maybe you can recall music from the ‘70s? If so, I imagine that the words, “Staying Alive” bring a little tune to mind. Feel free to hum along as you read.
Staying alive is a pretty potent motivator, wouldn’t you say? In Choice Theory, it’s called a basic need; the basic need for survival/security.
For some of us, this need is so basic that it makes all the others: love/belonging, power/recognition, freedom and fun, seem almost frivolous by comparison. Those needs don’t mean much if you can’t survive, right?
You might think that what we require to satisfy this security/survival need is obvious. We’re all human. Continue reading →

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