Greetings!
Welcome to Reality Check:
articles and observations inspired by the work of Dr. William GlasserCategories
Category Archives: Marriage
Reality Check: What’s fair in love and chores?
A recent study by a Norwegian researcher generated headlines with its conclusion that couples who share housework equally are more likely to divorce than couples where women do most of the household chores. Almost simultaneously, a British study concluded that … Continue reading
Reality Check: Not Every Battle
When Marie met Darcy, she immediately fell in love with his kind heart. Darcy never said no to any good cause, and as there are plenty of good causes, his practical skills and good nature kept him in high demand. … Continue reading
Posted in Marriage
Tagged "should", dissatisfaction, guilt, making choices
Comments Off on Reality Check: Not Every Battle
The Solving Circle
Very simple ideas are sometimes the most effective when trying to improve a relationship. One such idea from choice theory that can help with relationship problems is the “solving circle.” The solving circle is an abstract idea, so to make … Continue reading
Posted in Marriage
Tagged conflict, improving relationships, negotiation
Comments Off on The Solving Circle
Love, Belonging, and Compatibility
The idea of love & belonging goes naturally with any discussion of compatibility, doesn’t it? After all, isn’t that why couples become couples: to satisfy their need for love & belonging? However, in choice theory, the strength of the love … Continue reading
Posted in Marriage
Tagged improving relationships, need satisfaction, unhappiness
Comments Off on Love, Belonging, and Compatibility
Compatibility and Power
Continuing our discussion of compatibility and needs, let’s look at power. The word “power” can have negative connotations, but everyone has some need for it. In choice theory, power refers to the perfectly natural need for appreciation and recognition: knowing … Continue reading
Posted in Marriage
Tagged conflict, improving relationships, need satisfaction
Comments Off on Compatibility and Power
Survival, Security, and Compatibility
Compatibility is associated with our levels of basic needs, so when you choose a partner with the hope of living happily ever after, it’s helpful to have some idea of need levels. Let’s consider compatibility and its connection to survival/security. … Continue reading
Posted in Marriage
Tagged improving relationships, need satisfaction
Comments Off on Survival, Security, and Compatibility
What Makes Couples Compatible?
Is there someone for everyone? While Choice Theory doesn’t answer that question, it does propose an answer for why some couples are more compatible than others. So whether you are in a relationship, considering a relationship, or questioning why a … Continue reading
Posted in Marriage
Tagged improving relationships, need satisfaction
Comments Off on What Makes Couples Compatible?
Marriage: What’s Working?
In his book, Choice Theory, A New Psychology of Personal Freedom, Dr. Glasser reflects on his forty years of psychiatric practice by saying, “It has become apparent to me that all unhappy people have the same problem:
Posted in Marriage
Tagged conflict, making choices, unhappiness
Comments Off on Marriage: What’s Working?
Marriage: What is “More Effective” Control?
A foundation of Reality Therapy is that each of us can only control our own behaviour. Relationships improve when people
Posted in Marriage
Tagged blame, conflict, negotiation, perception
Comments Off on Marriage: What is “More Effective” Control?
Marriage: The “Control” Question
When discussing marriage, any mention of control is likely to push a few buttons! That’s evident by how some folks talk about their spouses: “I sure can’t control him!” “She’s completely out of control!” or this entertaining comment:
Posted in Marriage
Tagged blame, criticism, internal & external control
Comments Off on Marriage: The “Control” Question