Reality Check: Is it Time to Change the Filter?

Filters are useful. If we don’t have the right air filter, oil filter, or coffee filter, some tasks just can’t be done.
We have other filters too; ones that we can’t see but that still affect our lives. Their effects show up in our attitudes, our relationships, even how we see reality.
Dr. Glasser’s Choice Theory suggests that while our senses detect sights, sounds, smells, etc., our perceptual system filters that information through what he calls a knowledge filter and a valuing filter. Because there are almost certainly differences between your filters and my filters, we’re working with different information even when we’re in the same environment.
For example, let’s say that you and I take a walk together in a summer meadow.
You are an expert in butterfly identification. I dislike insects. Thus, our knowledge filters and valuing filters are different.
When we return, we’re asked, “How was your walk?” You respond enthusiastically, talking about the swallowtails and the skippers that you spotted. I, on the other hand, gripe about the horseflies, mosquitos, and wasps.
It’s as if we were on two different walks! The reality was the same; the difference was in what we noticed and how we valued it.
Your knowledge filter connected the butterflies you saw with information you already have, making your walk an exciting and satisfying experience. My lack of that knowledge, combined with a value filter that essentially says, “Insects are nasty pests,” made my walk considerably less enjoyable.
Can having an understanding of these filters help us understand other people? And maybe even better understand ourselves? I think so.
We could look at filters as a tool. Like any tool, the filter itself is neither good nor bad. It’s just a tool. Here are two ways where being aware of filters can be helpful.
First, knowing about our filters helps to explain how two people can see or hear the same information and respond very differently. We know from our walk in the butterfly meadow that what we see, hear, and understand depends on what we already believe, what we value, our perceptions of ourselves and others, and so on. Remembering that each of us is working with filtered information may not help us agree, but it might encourage us to be a little more tolerant of different opinions.
Second, when we treat our filters as tools, we can choose to gain some control over them. For example, I had mentioned to my friend Al that I was disappointed in a book I’d bought some time back. Al suggested that I read it again; perhaps what I’ve learned since might help me see it in a different way. I respect Al, so I gave it a try.
When I began re-reading, I remembered what had put me off. Some sentences were awkward, punctuation wasn’t perfect, and a few conclusions looked more like wishful thinking than objective analysis. My value filter kicked in with, “This guy isn’t a very good writer.”
However, aware of my filter, I persevered. I’m not suggesting that the book suddenly became a favourite, but I was able to glean useful information that I had missed the first time when my filter had coloured the entire work with disdain.
Our filters can be helpful. They can weed out the non-essential, dismiss the unhelpful, and steer us toward our priorities. But they could also distort reality.
Try your own experiment. Think of someone or something that you don’t like, and deliberately look again from a mindset of, “Is my filter helping me get a true understanding? Or not?” See what you find