Autumn mornings are the best in my opinion. The air is fresh, the sun shines; it’s a new day. It could get us thinking that “each day is a fresh start.” Put our past troubles and trials aside; we’re starting over! Hurrah!
I’m sure you’ve seen artwork, posters and probably greeting cards that convey exactly this sentiment: each day is a fresh start. Hey, if it shows up on a greeting card, it must be true, right?
A fresh start can be very attractive. If I find myself going down a path that doesn’t seem to be leading me in a good direction, it’s not a bad idea to stop, reassess, and maybe even turn around. Choose a different path. Start again, fresh.
Fresh starts can also be encouraging. It’s helpful to assess where we are in the present rather than dwelling on the misfortunes or resentments of the past. Then we can use the information we’ve learned to guide us in a different direction if need be. Having a process to guide us toward a fresh start can be both useful and comforting.
But what about the greeting cards and the implication that we automatically get a fresh start each time we wake up? That also sounds comforting. But is it accurate?
It’s true that we sometimes benefit from unearned gifts that can open up a fresh path for us. That may come in the form of encouraging words or in other, more tangible ways, such as financial assistance or physical help. But that kind of fresh start is the result of good luck or good will on the part of others, and that’s not an area that we can control, is it?
So let’s look at a few things that we can control which could turn us toward a fresh start direction. I’ll use the four parts of behaviour as outlined by Dr. Glasser as my structure: they are actions, thoughts, feelings and physiology.
First, let’s consider actions. What actions can we take toward a fresh start? Changing our surroundings can be remarkably refreshing. We know that decluttering is useful, but if you, like me, have an aversion to throwing things out, simply rearranging can bring a different perspective. Move things around; see if it makes a difference for you.
Next, we have our thoughts. My suggestion is to look at a long-standing habit and consider making a change. Perhaps when you get up, you have a habit of checking news and social media. Try making a change. Wait till evening. Or change your sources. See what happens. Do your thoughts change? I’m not suggesting that you give up the habit, just try an experiment. Even making a temporary change can be enlightening.
Well, now we come to feelings. It’s hard to change those, isn’t it? There can be moments when unwanted feelings seem to take over. To get a fresh start for feelings, I’ll suggest taking preventive action. Think of something that serves you well as a distraction, preferably something that you enjoy. Have a plan to engage in that activity as soon as you detect the beginning of an unwanted emotion.
Finally, our physiology. Our bodies are complex and give us remarkable abilities. And, there is also plenty that can go wrong. It’s so easy to dwell on the “goes wrong” parts rather than the “what’s working” parts. For a fresh start, consider changing just one aspect of how you care for your body. You know what’s practical for you. Make one change, perhaps diet, sleep, or exercise. Might that cause a fresh start?
Look at these suggestions as experiments. Try something different. See what happens. A simple change may uncover the fresh start you’d like to see.
Have you had fresh starts in your life?
