Having an abundance of choice can be a luxury in some situations. What food shall I eat? Where shall I go on vacation? Which friend will I spend time with today?
Having a myriad of choices in areas such as those does imply a life that is largely in control. While the choices are many, all of the options are pleasant. Even I make the “wrong” choice, it will still have a pleasant outcome.
Yet as we know, there are times when we need to make choices that aren’t as delightful as picking the most appetizing item from a buffet. Unfortunately, sometimes we need to make a choice when all of the options are undesirable.
For example, will I pay this bill or that bill?
Will I stay in this unpleasant work environment or take a chance on moving to a different one, realizing it could be no better, or even worse? Will I maintain this unsatisfying relationship, given the downsides of breaking it off and doing something differently?
Keeping our options open has benefits. When we wait to make a decision, we may be able to take advantage of a better option, if one happens to pop up. Whew! I’m glad I didn’t choose last week, or I would have missed out.
There can be compelling reasons for keeping our options open. Much of the time, we are working with limited information. We don’t know all of our options; we don’t know all the pros and cons. There’s the possibility that we will choose poorly. Maybe it’s better to put it off, till we know more.
However, keeping our options open has potential downsides too. When your friend says, “I’m going to lunch tomorrow, do you want to come?” what do you say? If your usual response is, “I’m keeping my options open,” eventually, they may stop asking.
The downsides can go well beyond mildly annoying our friends. If you have a perception that you always have a lot on your mind, with unfinished business and decisions weighing on you, maybe it would be worthwhile to do a little self-check. Am I really keeping my options open? Or am I avoiding making commitments?
A commitment can be as simple as a product choice or as complicated as a long-term commitment to another person. Either way, once we’ve made a commitment, we can remove the choice from our minds. Clear out that uncertainty from our thoughts. It’s done and we don’t have to revisit the question.
As a trivial example, I have a longstanding habit that once I’ve bought something, I stop shopping. When I made the choice, it was the most appropriate one based on the information I had at the time. Realistically, it’s likely that sticking to this rule means that there have been times when I have missed out on better deals or better choices that popped up later. I will never know.
What I do know is that I haven’t spent time or angst looking back and regretting my choice later. Is that worth something? For me, yes. You, however, may have a different view of how to make satisfying choices.
Commitment, making a choice, shuts down the options. When we decide, we tell ourselves that we will now work through the problem, stick with the plan, go with the choice we’ve made. The options are no longer open.
For some, keeping their options open works well. For others, having a life that’s overflowing with unsettled questions can cause more distress than flexibility.
Do you like to keep your options open? How does that work for you?
