Tag Archives: examining wants

Reality Check: Relationship Mistakes

Charles Schulz, of Peanuts fame, said something along the lines of, “I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong.” Until a few minutes ago, I believed that joke had originated with my family. Then I checked. Sure … Continue reading

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Relationship Mistakes

Reality Check: Helpful and Unhelpful Conversations

People talk. We often take it for granted, but the fact that we are able to communicate really is one of the delights of being human. It enables us to learn, create, innovate, and express emotion. Our communication is not … Continue reading

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Helpful and Unhelpful Conversations

Reality Check: The Attentive Gardener

“The best fertilizer is the footsteps of the gardener.” Why? What is it about a gardener’s footsteps that would help a garden grow? While I fall far short from being an enthusiastic gardener, even I know that it’s hard to … Continue reading

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: The Attentive Gardener

Reality Check: The Quest For What You Want

What do you want? Is that a question worth thinking about? Some believe it’s selfish to think about what we want. Others see it as futile; if you believe you can’t get what you want, why bother asking? Yet “wants” … Continue reading

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: The Quest For What You Want

Reality Check: Having Trouble Getting Started?

Wait, delay, and put it off. For some people, procrastination is practically an identity, as in, “I’ve always been a procrastinator and that’s just who I am.” This is fine, until it’s not. Putting off can ultimately result in poor … Continue reading

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Having Trouble Getting Started?

Reality Check: When We Make A Change

The scenario outlined in my recent column on people-pleasing prompted comments from readers who agree—in that situation, it would be helpful if the people-pleaser made some changes. When we’re in a relationship where one person attempts to control the other, … Continue reading

Posted in Making a Change | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: When We Make A Change

Reality Check: Are You Afraid That You’re Missing Out?

The phrase “fear of missing out” is so well-known that it has its own acronym: FOMO. Don’t fret if you hadn’t heard that before. You didn’t miss out on anything. Not really. However, if you’re a person who hates to … Continue reading

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Are You Afraid That You’re Missing Out?

Reality Check: What We Want and What We Control

One of the structured processes used in Reality Therapy is known as WDEP, where the W stands for Wants. That is, the first step in the process is—Figure out what you want! You’d think that would be simple, wouldn’t you? … Continue reading

Posted in Control and Choice | Tagged , | Comments Off on Reality Check: What We Want and What We Control

Reality Check: Ups and Downs of People Pleasing

Jo is upset. She would like to please her friend Maggie but if she does, she’ll end up unhappy with herself. Maggie is insisting that Jo spend essentially all of her free time with her. We all know that no … Continue reading

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Ups and Downs of People Pleasing

Reality Check: The Paths We Select Through Our Choices

One of the benefits of writing is that people sometimes tell me their stories. I appreciate getting them, especially stories about choices. Recently, a young woman I’ll call Rebecca emailed me. We are acquainted, so the contact wasn’t completely unexpected. … Continue reading

Posted in Control and Choice | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: The Paths We Select Through Our Choices