When was the last time you said, “That was fun!” Not sarcastically, but with genuine appreciation for time spent laughing. Was it today? Yesterday? Last week? Or maybe you have some vague memories of fun times when you were a kid, but you can’t quite put a finger on anything recently.
It could be that you haven’t had a chance to have much fun for a while. There’s too much going on. So many responsibilities, so much stress; maybe you don’t have time for frivolities like fun.
That lack of fun could be more important that you think.
Choice Theory identifies some basic needs common to all humans. It’s not a long list; only five items. One of them is fun.
If we don’t find ways to meet our basic needs, we’re dissatisfied. When it’s your life we’re talking about, dissatisfaction is serious business.
If you haven’t been feeling the fun, apparently you’re not alone. I’d come across a study recently done by Talker Research, commissioned by Dave & Buster’s. Granted, it’s an American study, and I think it’s fair to say that Dave & Buster’s has an interest in promoting a certain variety of fun. Given that, it’s still interesting to learn that almost half the people surveyed felt they are lacking fun.
Why would Dr. Glasser include fun as a need? We know that fun is nice to have, but a need? Really?
Glasser suggested that fun is a built-in genetic reward for learning. He writes, “We are descended from people who learned more or better than others…the need for fun became built into our genes.”
Ancestors who learned were more likely to survive and procreate. That sounds plausible. Fun, something we seek and enjoy, is a way to encourage learning. Granted, learning doesn’t always feel like fun. You, like me, may remember learning a few lessons through processes that were not fun at all! But we do learn, and when we master a difficult lesson, it’s pretty satisfying.
Aside from the joy of continuous learning, what would satisfy your need for fun?
Different people are different. What one person finds fulfilling, another person may find boring, ridiculous, or even distressing. Perhaps you want the fun of being around lots of people, with food, games, or going out on the town. Fun for you might involve creating memories: with children or grandchildren, attending events with friends, or travelling to exotic places.
On the other hand, perhaps you’d rather have the fun that comes with the solitude of walking in the forest or sitting at the fishing hole. Fun may mean a creative activity: painting, singing, writing, crafting. Maybe you have an absorbing hobby. Or maybe you derive fun from reading a book with the cat on your lap. It’s your life; you can choose what will satisfy it.
That said, it’s easy to convince ourselves that we can’t have fun. We can’t afford it. Or we don’t have time, or there’s no one to have fun with us. I agree; these can be valid barriers to satisfying our need for fun.
But the study also suggested that we perceive that fun has real benefits. With fun, we feel less stress, we’re more motivated; fun brings us closer to other people.
Fun need not be elaborate, expensive or time-consuming. We can choose to designate time for fun, to get joy from small things, to find amusement in our everyday lives. It’s worth the effort. Think of one fun thing you can realistically do each day. See what happens.
If you’re interested in a link to the Talker Research study, just send me an email. What brings fun into your life?
