My former colleague Jim had to attend a company meeting in New Brunswick with a few other employees. They drove out in early morning, allowing plenty of time for arrival. About half-way, they switched drivers; Jim took the wheel.
Jim was relatively new to Canada, but he had lots of European driving experience. He drove quickly and confidently. They arrived at the meeting. Late. Very late. Why?
As Jim later told me, “We were making excellent time. It was just in the wrong direction.”
You may be thinking that a map would have been handy in Jim’s case. Of course, there was a map in the company truck. So what was the problem? Jim assumed that the others knew where they were supposed to go; why would he look at a map?
This may have never happened to you when you’re on the road. But how about other areas of life? Have you ever raced to and fro, working hard, only to realize at the end of the day that you didn’t accomplish what you set out to do? The most important tasks left undone; the time grabbed by other things.
There were interruptions; things came up that we believed had to be handled urgently. Where did the time go? One might say that we were going very fast, just in the wrong direction. If only there was a way to stay on track. If only we had a map.
But wait, can we make our own map? If we want one, that’s probably what we’ll need to do. Some of us may be able to rely on our fellow travellers to keep us on the right road. Even then, it’s more satisfying when we know where we’re going. Knowing gives us some control over our journey, and over our day.
How would we make such a map? While different things will work for different people, my suggestion is simple. Finish this sentence: “Just for today, I will choose to direct my attention toward…”
For example, we can choose to direct our attention toward interacting with a specific person or group. We can choose what conversations we will engage in. What skills will we work on? What news will we access? We might even choose which pains we will focus on.
We have choices. Sometimes it can seem like we have too many choices. If that’s the case for you, then filling in this one sentence may be a useful way to start your day. That’s your map.
As always, this is not to say that we have absolute choice in these matters. We can’t always choose who we will interact with, what the conversation is, or even whether our pains intrude into our lives. Some things that seek our attention will not be wished away or ignored, no matter how disciplined our mindset.
However, there is a satisfaction that can come from considering and then taking deliberate control of what we can control. And taking control of what we pay attention to can make a difference in our attitude, satisfaction, relationships, and more.
To choose where to put our attention can take some thought. We need to look at our options. What do we most care about? What concerns do we have? Who do we want and need to connect with? What aspects of our lives are in need of attention now?
I’ve found the sub-title of a small book by Stephen Covey to be a good reminder when I catch myself attempting to respond to competing or uncontrollable events. In “First Things First Every Day,” Covey says “Because where you’re headed is more important than how fast you are going.”
Where are you headed?
