Reality Check: Gifts and Presence

It’s that time of year when many of us focus on presents. Ads surround us promoting the message: this is a time to buy.
Granted, getting and giving packages wrapped in festive paper and glittery ribbons does add a certain joy to the season. And, as many have said, “It’s the thought that counts.” The knowledge that someone cares for us, expressed in this tangible way, has value.
I’m going to suggest a wonderful gift that we can give to ourselves or someone else. It’s easy to find and inexpensive. It’s a present that encourages being present.
Now you might be wondering, “What does that even mean?”
We often have thoughts, conversations, and influences that pull us away from the present. We start ruminating about the past or fretting about the future.
For some, thinking of the past brings up old hurts, injustices, and losses. However, the past can also be the source of happy memories: good times with people we love, triumphs at work, victories in sports, or how we overcame fears or barriers.
The future can also pull us away from the present. Sometimes, it’s in the form of anticipation of delights to come. Other times, the future appears as frightful visions of bad things that could happen; events largely out of our control. We can’t do anything about them but worry. That’s not very satisfying.
Do you find that you spend significant time in the past or the future rather than in the present? If so, I’m going to suggest that it’s more satisfying to focus on the good times rather than the miseries.
But what if you can’t remember any good times in the past? Or foresee any positive events in the future? Look closely. Even the tiniest good event or connection can be cheering. However, if positive, satisfying things keep getting crowded out by the nasty stuff, then here’s my gift suggestion.
Write them down. Keep a journal. Notebooks are cheap and readily available, but a notebook that you have filled with your own reminders of satisfactions in your life can be surprisingly valuable.
What would you write? Include positive accomplishments, the good relationships, the fun you’ve had or are having. Then, when you notice that you are headed down a spiral of dissatisfaction, take a look. See if it makes a difference in how you see the present.
If you want to give yourself a present that could help you take more effective control over your life, my suggestion is a notebook.
Like most tools, however, you’ll need to use it if it’s to be effective. But it’s not all that difficult to choose to develop a new habit. Set aside a few specific minutes each day, or each week, or even each month if that’s what you want, and decide to write.
Choose to write notes about the future that you find hopeful, that inspire positive feelings when you read them. Choose to write memories of the past that bring you warmth and satisfaction.
The notebook is my simple tool of choice for gaining perspective. It can help us sort out the positive from the negative. It can remind us that we have things to be grateful for, despite any losses, fears, or angers.
If you choose to give a notebook as a gift for someone else, then you might include a note to tell them why you have made that choice. Including a copy of this article would be one way to take care of that.
Do you keep a journal or notebook of any kind? How does that work for you?