There are changes coming! While I’m at it, I may as well throw in a prediction about Maritime weather: It’s going to change! Not a big surprise, is it? Changes happen; some for the better; others just make things worse.
The dawn of a New Year gets us thinking about fresh new starts, taking different approaches, out with the old, in with something new. That’s all a way of saying, “I want a change.”
What might we want to change, exactly?
To put that question in context, let’s first take a look back at the year that’s coming to an end. Events have happened, whether we contributed to causing them or not. I’m hoping that some of those were good events. Realistically, and sadly, it’s also likely that some events were not so great.
A Choice Theory structure can help us get a balanced picture. For example, consider love and belonging in our lives. We know that relationships change. Over the past year, have we met new people or drawn closer to people who bring us joy, comfort, satisfaction? Have we chosen to deepen existing positive relationships, making them even more satisfying?
Just as important, have some relationships disappeared or changed in a negative way? While some changes may be the result of choices we’ve made, other relationships change regardless of our wants. Perhaps events occurred that were out of our control. Maybe the other person asserted their choice to change in a way that is not to our liking. Relationships change, for better and for worse.
How about our security/survival? We have control over some events, but as anyone who has health issues or accidents can tell you, we don’t have control over everything that has an impact on our survival. However, changes are not always negative. Treatments, recovery, even adopting new habits can have positive impacts on our survival.
How we satisfy our need for power/recognition can also change. Perhaps we have increased satisfaction through doing meaningful work, whether paid or unpaid. Maybe we have chosen to increase our responsibilities, recognizing that we can be more effective than before. Perhaps someone, even one person, has reached out to us to recognize our activities.
How about our sense of freedom? Has that changed over the past year? Perhaps you have a changed financial situation or changed responsibilities, either of which could contribute to a change in freedom. Likewise, some relationship changes can bring more freedom; others make us less free. Losses of freedom may be outweighed by gains in other ways, but it’s a change, nevertheless.
Finally in the collection of Choice Theory needs, there’s that need for fun. Have you added fun to your life over the past year? Or do you now have fewer opportunities for fun?
Whether we make deliberate changes or not, changes have happened and will continue. Given that, how have you, personally, changed from a year ago?
We are all different in some ways from the people we were a year ago. And this time next year, we will be different again. We will be different from who we are right now.
In a recent post, Dr. Joel Wade asked an important question, “How do we want to be different?” We know that we will be different. But how?
We don’t have control over many of the changes that happen. However, by recognizing that we will change, we can also recognize that our conscious efforts matter. We can direct those changes in the direction we want. To some degree, we can choose the person we want to become.
What changes do you want to see in yourself in the next year?
