Last time, I referred to “accept your current reality” as the first step offered by Dr. Bob Wubbolding in, “A Set of Directions for Putting and Keeping Yourself Together.” We have to start somewhere, and current reality is the place, isn’t it?
Now let’s say that we’ve all looked at our current reality. What did we see? My guess is that some of it is satisfying, some neutral, and quite possibly, some areas are unsatisfying. Now what?
According to Dr. Bob, the next step is, “Make a decision and choose.” If we are satisfied, then we may decide to make our reality even better. Or we may want to leave well enough alone. Either way, it’s a decision.
But what if you found that some part of current reality is not satisfying? What do you do?
Acting requires effort, whether physical, mental or emotional. But first, we have to decide. As Dr. Bob puts it, “Today you are making a decision to turn your life around…”
Deciding to act isn’t difficult, but it can be like the old joke about quitting smoking: “It’s not hard to quit smoking. I’ve quit thousands of times!”
Rumour has it that some people (no names need be mentioned) make a decision, list the specific tasks involved, dates and times, etc. They have the sincere intention to act. But curiously, the tasks don’t get done. They just get shifted ahead, day after day, week after week.
What makes a deliberate decision different?
“Deliberate” is a powerful word, and a deliberate decision can be a powerful act. Deliberate implies that we’ve gone through a process. We’ve looked at possibilities, thought it through, and decided. We didn’t decide on a whim, or because social media told us to, or because my friend’s brother’s uncle recommended it. The decision came from our own heads and applies to our own lives.
Thus, when we make a deliberate decision, we know for ourselves that this is the best possible decision at this time. It may not be a perfect decision; in fact, a perfect option may not be available. Even in that case, our deliberate decision leads us to take an action that we believe, at the very least, will improve the situation.
More perfect options may become available as the situation unfolds, as we act on our imperfect choice. But for now, deliberately choosing one of the imperfect possibilities and acting on it may be the best we can do.
After you’ve made a deliberate decision and followed through on it, you may be surprised to find that more options start to appear. As you act, you change your situation. It’s not surprising that possibilities change too.
You may find that something else happens as well. We see the world through our filters, but our filters can change. Once we deliberately make a change in a certain direction, the things we pay attention to change. We might notice that a resource we never noticed before was there all along, but only now comes into our sight. People we never expected to be helpful come out of the woodwork. Encouragement can arise from surprising places. Making deliberate decisions, taking action, changes things.
There are plenty of traps that can hold us back from taking action. But as Dr. Bob puts it, “…now is the time to tell yourself, ‘I’ll do it!’ ”
Do you find deliberate, thoughtful decision-making easy? Or is it difficult? If so, how do you overcome the difficulties?
