Picture an image of everything that brings happiness to you. All the people, the places, the things, even the values and ideas; everything that brings you joy.
Is your picture huge? Does it contain a wide selection of satisfying things? Or is it small, with only a limited number of cherished entities?
Dr. Andrew Huberman has made a statement that contrasts addiction and happiness. As I have no interest in discussing addiction, I’ll just quote the part about happiness. Huberman says, “Happiness is a progressive expansion of the things that bring you pleasure.” He goes on to say that this takes work.
Oh dear. It’s as if work is always required, even when we’re talking about happiness.
Now let’s think about the changes that picture may have gone through over the years. Is your picture larger now than it used to be, full of new things that bring you joy, in addition to long-standing ones? Or has the picture narrowed, with relatively few things that get you charged up with happiness?
The implication from Huberman’s comment is that if we choose to expand the variety of things that bring us joy, we’ll be happier than if we keep it narrow and limited.
By now you may be wondering: but isn’t that automatic? For example, I don’t consciously choose to have chocolate cheesecake as a happiness-producing picture, it just ended up as one after that first bite! I don’t control that.
Yet, we do have some control. Instead of seeing regular events as mundane, look for the joy in them. We don’t have to wait for the perfect situation to bring us joy. During her terminal illness, my friend derived great joy from the cardinal that often sang outside her window. We experience many circumstances that are far from perfect, yet they can still contain elements of beauty, truth, warmth, caring, even comedy.
It’s important to distinguish between what we see as necessary to our happiness, versus what we interpret as bringing us happiness. My reading of Huberman’s comment is that we can increase happiness by expanding what brings us happiness. This, of course, is not the same as suggesting that we expand what we believe we need to be happy.
A parting thought about the word “happiness.” I sometimes use the terms “satisfaction” or “in control” rather than happiness as I recognize that some people perceive the idea of increasing one’s personal happiness as selfish or distasteful. Perhaps your objection goes along the lines of, “How can one be happy when there is so much misery in the world?” That perception is, of course, your choice; I can understand the perspective.
If that’s you, here’s another thought to ponder. When are you most effective at creating positive changes for others (and for yourself)? Think of actual actions, not thoughts or feelings. Do you take more positive action when you are reasonably satisfied and generally in control of your own life? Or not?
If the word “happiness” causes you discomfort, then you can use a different term. The words “effective,” “energized” or “in control” might be more appropriate for you.
Regardless of whether you call it happiness, satisfaction, or something else, Huberman’s assertion seems to be that if we perceive that many things can bring joy, we will be more joy-filled than if we limit our joy to only a few sources.
Has your list of things, people, and events that bring you joy become larger or smaller over the years? Do you believe that you can expand it? Is it worth a try?
