Reality Check: While We’re Waiting…

Are you waiting for something? I’ll bet that you are! Right now, I’m waiting for an appointment date, an order that hasn’t arrived, and a clarification promised by a company. And I’m sure that if I think harder, I can find lots of other items sitting in limbo.
We spend a lot of time waiting. We wait for information; appointments; responses. We wait on the phone, on the web, sometimes even in person.
Sometimes that wait is eager anticipation: waiting for a trip, a visit, or a celebration. Other times, it’s anxious: waiting for a decision, an appointment, or a dreaded gathering.
Why is waiting frustrating? You have your reasons, but one that comes to my mind is about those things that we cannot control.
For example, we can’t control time. There’s 60 minutes per hour, 24 hours per day. No matter how quickly we want time to pass, that’s what it is.
There’s also that business about, “we can’t control other people.” Waiting often requires that somebody else do something. It’s out of our control.
Our perceptions can add to frustration. For example, does that big company care? Or is our little problem insignificant? That’s tough on our need for power and recognition, isn’t it?
Maybe we are waiting for a health service, and perceive a delay to be evidence of an uncaring, ill-equipped system. That frustrates our need for survival/security.
Or we might perceive that a loved one is deliberately delaying reaching out to us. That doesn’t help with our need for love and belonging, does it?
Unless we take care to deliberately choose our thoughts, we can slip into ruminating and fretting about things that we cannot change. We may notice this particularly when we have idle time on our hands.
Can we reduce some of those negative effects that can crop up while waiting? Here are a few suggestions.
The choice theory model suggests that what we do, our physical actions, can change our thoughts and feelings. Thus, we can change those ruminating or frustrated thoughts and feelings by doing something. This becomes even more satisfying if we choose to do something productive!
Such as what? We could choose to work on our need for love/belonging. How? Reach out. Call. Email. If you enjoy hand-writing, write a note on a card. In this age of electronic communications, that’s sure to get noticed.
We can choose to satisfy our power/recognition need by working toward an improvement. Whether it’s hobby or work-oriented, fill the time with an absorbing interest rather than leaving a blank space that can be taken over by frustration.
We could even choose exercise, whether a solitary walk or a team activity. Potentially, that one action could satisfy the need for survival, freedom, and even fun.
If none of those suggestions work for you, here’s one more. It may sound silly, but it might be effective! Designate a specific time of day to fret about whatever it is that you are waiting for. For example, choose from 8:00 to 8:15 as your time to “frustrate.” When frustration pops up at other times during the day, you can, in good conscience, set it aside till your designated time.
We have choices while waiting. We can choose to be fearful, resentful, frustrated. Or we can choose to take control over what we can control. I don’t pretend that changing one’s actions or outlook is easy. Even so, is it worthwhile to strive in that direction?