Reality Check: Pieces of the Past

We can only act in the present day. We already know that, but sometimes it helps to get a reminder. Even though we might like to change what we’ve done (because we’re so much wiser now, right?) we can’t undo or redo anything. We can’t go back and act in the past.
Despite that blunt reality, here are a few points that could be worth considering.
The first point: We can act in the present. Even though we can’t redo or undo the past, we can act now in ways that could change the present-day results of past events.
For example, James hasn’t been on speaking terms with his dad for years.
The original dispute flared up long ago as the result of an incident. It doesn’t matter now what the incident was. At this stage, it may not even matter who was right and who was wrong.
Now the question for James is, “Do you want to have a better relationship with your father?” James may decide yes or no; that’s a choice he can make in the present day.
If James decides that he would like an improved relationship, then he can take steps toward having that. Of course, if his father doesn’t want to cooperate, well, that’s his choice also, isn’t it? But at least then James will know whether or not he can improve the current relationship. Working on the relationship now won’t change the past, but it could change the present.
The second point: We can get information from the past. We can learn from it. And that information can inform the choices we make in the present. The preferable outcome would be that we make better, satisfying choices in the present based on what we’ve learned in the past.
For example, Sally has a strong moral urge to assist people who are down-and-out. Over the years, she has seen that some people use her help as a stepping stone to become more responsible, capable, and appreciative. In contrast, others actually become more dependent, now having an expectation that Sally will continue helping them.
If Sally chooses to look clearly at the information she has learned from past efforts, she can use it to make more satisfying decisions about what she does and who she helps today. By the way, we don’t always like the information we get. However, just because we don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not useful.
My third point: We can gain perspective from the past. It is easy to lose perspective about the present, especially if the present is upsetting for us. We hear about “the current thing” and it’s usually bad. We can find ourselves longing for the old days, when everything was simple and good, everyone got along, etc.
Like many on the South Shore, I have collected bits and pieces of information, clippings, photographs, handwritten notes, pieces of the past. Some are from many years past, in those good old days when electricity was a novelty, when gardening required a team of oxen, and when even having a photograph taken was restricted to very special occasions.
These pieces are a good reminder that while progress is in some ways upsetting, progress in other ways makes for a much more satisfying and comfortable life.
So while we can’t change the past, or redo the past, we can be advised by the past. We can learn and gain perspective. How do you see the past influencing your present day?