Tag Archives: improving relationships

Is it Nagging? Or Informing?

Posted on October 28, 2011 by RealityCheck

“Honey, would you take out the trash?”  “Honey, please take out the trash.”  “Honey, Why do I have to keep telling you? The trash! The trash!” 

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Everybody’s still picking on Johnny

Posted on September 12, 2011 by RealityCheck

Firmly fixed in Johnny’s mind is the idea that life is unfair. More specifically, life is unfair to him. Whether it’s at work, with his parents, his teachers, even with his friends, Johnny often feels as if he is under … Continue reading →

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The Lead Management Agenda

Posted on September 12, 2011 by RealityCheck

When we think of relationships, we usually think of friends, family members, and social acquaintances. However, relationships at work are important too. In fact, we may spend more time with co-workers, bosses, and employees than we do with our friends … Continue reading →

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The Friendship Agenda

Posted on September 12, 2011 by RealityCheck

Is there an agenda for friendship? The term “agenda” is so often used negatively (as in “hidden agenda”) that the idea of a friendship agenda might seem cold or even devious. An agenda, though, is just a plan; whether it’s … Continue reading →

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Ask guilty feelings these three questions

Posted on September 12, 2011 by RealityCheck

When a guilty feeling pops up in your life, you know that it’s seldom accompanied by delight or satisfaction. It’s more likely that guilt brings with it unhappiness, resentment, perhaps even anger. If you don’t enjoy letting those feelings have … Continue reading →

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Guilty? Or Not Guilty?

Posted on September 12, 2011 by RealityCheck

Internal motivation is a foundation of choice theory/reality therapy. The idea is that our actions—the behaviours we choose—aren’t forced on us, but are the result of choices made in our own brains. Because reality therapy views behaviour as not only … Continue reading →

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Looking for Belonging

Posted on September 12, 2011 by RealityCheck

One self-defense strategy against cyber bullying, as I’d suggested in an earlier column, is to learn Choice Theory. That can help someone who feels attacked realize that other people don’t “make” us do things, and therefore choose more effective behaviours. … Continue reading →

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Communication: What’s winning look like?

Posted on August 30, 2011 by RealityCheck

Tension has been rising in Liam’s family. From Liam’s perspective, he’s simply attempting to control his parents’ “interrogation” into his life by refusing to answer questions. But that hasn’t worked very well—if anything, their questioning has become more vigorous! Inspired … Continue reading →

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The Quality Worlds of a Happy Relationship

Posted on August 30, 2011 by RealityCheck

In a happy, satisfying relationship, the two people involved appear in each other’s “quality worlds.” What’s a quality world?

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External Control vs. Happier Relationships

Posted on August 30, 2011 by RealityCheck

Kristen and Sherri are in the midst of the first dispute of their shared-living arrangement. Kristen is attempting to coerce Sherri into celebrating their first evening in the city

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