Have you ever entered into a bargain without realizing it? Alice did, and now she’s getting a daily dose of frustration from an arrangement she thought would be to her benefit. Here’s her story. Continue reading
To finish up this series on agendas in relationships, let’s take a look at a “helping” relationship. This could be a counselling relationship, but I’ll look at a simpler relationship, such as with a coach or a mentor.
When one person asks another for help or advice, the implication is that the person being asked is wiser, more knowledgeable, or somehow better equipped to come up with a solution than the asker…that they “know what’s best for you.” Continue reading
When we think of relationships, we usually think of friends, family members, and social acquaintances. However, relationships at work are important too. In fact, we may spend more time with co-workers, bosses, and employees than we do with our friends and family.
The branch of reality therapy that deals with work is called lead management. In lead management, Dr. Glasser adds a choice theory perspective Continue reading
Whether it’s back in the past or going on right now, every one of us has experienced teacher-learner relationships. While school might immediately spring to mind, there are plenty of places where teaching and learning occur—at work, with our friends, at the computer…
After you’ve experienced different ways of learning, it might seem that it’s easier to learn outside of school than it ever was to learn in school. Continue reading
Is there an agenda for friendship? The term “agenda” is so often used negatively (as in “hidden agenda”) that the idea of a friendship agenda might seem cold or even devious. An agenda, though, is just a plan; whether it’s devious, compassionate, or neutral is up to the creator. Continue reading
A benefit of applying choice theory/reality therapy in your life is that you can gain personal freedom—the freedom that comes with understanding what you can and cannot control.
In previous columns, we’ve looked at situations where people attempt to coerce others into action using guilt. If you have ever been on the receiving end of that behaviour, Continue reading
When a guilty feeling pops up in your life, you know that it’s seldom accompanied by delight or satisfaction. It’s more likely that guilt brings with it unhappiness, resentment, perhaps even anger.
If you don’t enjoy letting those feelings have their way with you, then here’s a three-question strategy you can try. Perhaps you’ll find that feeling guilty is not your only choice; there may be other, more effective choices. Continue reading
Internal motivation is a foundation of choice theory/reality therapy. The idea is that our actions—the behaviours we choose—aren’t forced on us, but are the result of choices made in our own brains.
Because reality therapy views behaviour as not only what we do, but also what we think and feel, then internal motivation applies to our feelings, too.
Can anyone make you feel happy, sad, or angry? Continue reading
A world filled with possibilities—that’s a wonderfully freedom-filled way to look at the future. For Marci, however, determined to make one perfect career choice, all those possibilities seem more confusing than delightful.
Added to her confusion is a feeling of intimidation. Continue reading
“It’s overwhelming!” That’s Marci’s reaction to the decision she’s facing now. No longer content to drift in whatever direction life takes her, Marci has decided to choose a career.
Great! However, making effective choices is easier said than done. Continue reading
