Tag Archives: choosing actions

Reality Check: Hoped-for results

Posted on January 13, 2013 by RealityCheck

Many of us like to think that we base our important decisions on facts and logic. Sometimes, however, our “hoped-for” results crowd out our logical assessments. Let’s look at Molly and Bill, whose life together includes a home and small … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Shaking Off External Control

Posted on November 10, 2012 by RealityCheck

Last column, I described a mother-daughter conflict where mom, Sandy, tried to compel her daughter Chloe to study in a specific way. Sandy is convinced that she knows what’s best for Chloe. Now, let’s look at the situation from Chloe’s … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Optimism or Pessimism: Can you choose?

Posted on October 7, 2012 by RealityCheck

If pessimism has a hold on you, the idea that you can choose optimism instead won’t sound very realistic. What is optimism, anyway? Reality therapy says that behaviour has four aspects: thinking, feeling, action, and physiological effects. You can “feel … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: To be belittled, or not to be…

Posted on September 30, 2012 by RealityCheck

When Sonja met Harry, she found a man who seemed almost too good to be true. Kind and generous, Harry was genuinely concerned about Sonja’s welfare. And unlike Sonja’s previous relationship, Harry demanded no changes on her part. In this … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Speak up or stand down, continued

Posted on August 19, 2012 by RealityCheck

We’ve already looked at a couple who had neglected to share important aspects of their lives with each other until it was almost too late. It is important to recognize when it’s time to speak up about what you are … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Speak up or stand down?

Posted on August 13, 2012 by RealityCheck

We each have our special qualities, yet groups of us share characteristics, such as whether one is an introvert or extravert. In her book, “Gifts Differing,” Isabel Briggs Myers states that there are more extraverts than introverts, with extraverts being … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Who’s the most effective saboteur?

Posted on August 6, 2012 by RealityCheck

Amanda and Annie are cousins. They have similar backgrounds, and they have faced similar challenges throughout their lives. There’s a significant difference between Amanda and Annie’s lives, though. Whenever a setback arises, Amanda is easily thrown off course while Annie … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Purpose and Information

Posted on July 7, 2012 by RealityCheck

Nick has literally been handed his purpose in life and it certainly didn’t appear on a silver platter. No, his purpose rolled up in a stroller, in the form of his son Kyle. As suggested last column, Nick has mixed … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Purpose and Power

Posted on June 30, 2012 by RealityCheck

It’s easy to mistake the “power need” that’s identified in reality therapy for something negative. People who want to lead lives filled with good relationships might perceive that they have no need for power; that is, they don’t need or … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: To Temper a Temper

Posted on June 17, 2012 by RealityCheck

Aren’t words fun? The phrase “to temper” means to calm, whereas a person who “has a temper” is angry. If you have a temper, do you have a choice? Or is your temper out of your control? Josie has a … Continue reading →

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