“It is within your power to feel better.” That’s according to Dr. Bob Wubbolding, in “A Set of Directions for Putting and Keeping Yourself Together.”
How much power do you have over your feelings? In choice theory, we say that a feeling is part of a whole “package” of behaviour, which includes our thoughts and actions. By changing what you are thinking and doing, you have the power to change your feelings.
What triggers feelings of worry for you? Continue reading
Whether it’s a significant fear or just a twinge of uneasiness, most folks experience the state of “being worried” from time to time.
A variety of actions and thoughts come along for the ride when our main behaviour is worrying. Are there common threads? Continue reading
Nick has literally been handed his purpose in life and it certainly didn’t appear on a silver platter. No, his purpose rolled up in a stroller, in the form of his son Kyle.
As suggested last column, Nick has mixed feelings about his role as a single parent. While he wants to do the responsible thing, there’s no doubt that it will cramp his lifestyle.
The loss of his freedom is not Nick’s main concern, however. Though he wouldn’t want to admit it, Nick is frightened. Continue reading
It’s easy to mistake the “power need” that’s identified in reality therapy for something negative. People who want to lead lives filled with good relationships might perceive that they have no need for power; that is, they don’t need or want power over other people.
However, one interpretation of this basic need for power is simply that it’s the need to recognize, for yourself, that you have value. Continue reading
If you seek out self-development resources for inspiration, then you already know that gurus, teachers, and coaches suggest that it’s helpful to have a positive outlook. But what if that positivity eludes you?
Tashia “knows” that anyone she meets is going to think badly of her. She’s self-conscious about everything: her weight, her posture, her work, her apartment, even her intelligence. And it’s all because of an incident that she’ll never forget.
One day when Tashia was in junior high, Continue reading
Aren’t words fun? The phrase “to temper” means to calm, whereas a person who “has a temper” is angry. If you have a temper, do you have a choice? Or is your temper out of your control?
Josie has a temper and she knows it. She’s described as “fiery” and she doesn’t see that as a bad thing. After all, no one messes with her! Everyone knows exactly where she stands, and if other people can’t get along with her, well, that’s their problem.
Then Josie was blessed with a daughter—the sweetest, most innocent little creature that was ever placed on this earth. Continue reading
Katie had set out in her pursuit of work with high expectations. After multiple rejections for lack of experience, she’d been recommended for a program to help her gain experience. It wasn’t glamorous, but she’d finally be working.
At first, Katie was excited. She’s on her way!
Then she told her friends, and suddenly Continue reading
Whether you are on the search for your first job or your fifteenth, during the job-hunt process, you’ll likely experience both encouraging and disheartening events. Those events can trigger feelings: excitement and optimism after a good interview; distress and discouragement after less encouraging experiences.
Must one’s emotional state be completely at the mercy of external events? Continue reading
