You’ve heard of manipulators, haven’t you? Perhaps you’ve even been the “victim” of a manipulator (or perceive yourself that way.)
It can seem as if manipulative people manage to get what they want, and it’s always at someone else’s expense. Let’s take a closer look.
First, we’ll consider the situation of a sweet young gal who seeks out a lonely, wealthy, older man, whom I’ll refer to as the “target.” Her goal: a fat payday in a short time with minimal effort. Continue reading
A recent study by a Norwegian researcher generated headlines with its conclusion that couples who share housework equally are more likely to divorce than couples where women do most of the household chores.
Almost simultaneously, a British study concluded that men who contribute to chores feel better and have a better sense of work-life balance. Contradiction or what?
While I don’t put much stock in such conclusions, they inspire an interesting question. How can a couple have a happy relationship while dealing with the unpleasant day-to-day necessities, such as chores? Continue reading
If pessimism has a hold on you, the idea that you can choose optimism instead won’t sound very realistic.
What is optimism, anyway? Reality therapy says that behaviour has four aspects: thinking, feeling, action, and physiological effects. You can “feel optimistic,” “think optimistically,” and “act like an optimist.”
Is a life filled with optimism more satisfying than one of pessimism? That’s up to you to decide. Different folks find different ways to live satisfying lives. Continue reading
When Sonja met Harry, she found a man who seemed almost too good to be true. Kind and generous, Harry was genuinely concerned about Sonja’s welfare. And unlike Sonja’s previous relationship, Harry demanded no changes on her part.
In this relationship, one without criticism or complaints, Sonja thought it possible that she had finally found “the one.” She felt like a princess in a fairy tale.
A fairy tale beginning is not a bad thing. Continue reading
When Marie met Darcy, she immediately fell in love with his kind heart. Darcy never said no to any good cause, and as there are plenty of good causes, his practical skills and good nature kept him in high demand.
Before they married, Darcy’s ongoing contributions helped Marie and Darcy stay connected. They worked together, lending their time and skills to projects they both believed in. This was a very satisfying time; both Marie and Darcy felt that they were making their world a better place.
Time went on; marriage and the subsequent blessing of a set of twins brought a few changes! Continue reading
Progress has given us enhanced opportunities to connect with each other. Whereas a phone call could be perceived as an interruption, email (much like an old-fashioned letter!) can be read at leisure.
Social networks, such as facebook, contribute another interesting quality. You can see what’s going on with someone without ever entering a conversation; it’s a bit like taking a peek into someone’s back yard when they’re not home. Continue reading
“.. for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Shakespeare’s famous line elegantly expresses that different people perceive things in different ways. In this case, Hamlet expressed that he perceived Denmark as a prison; others didn’t share that perception.
We get information about the real world through our senses: we see, hear, touch… That information is processed through our personal internal filters, which choice theory refers to as the “perceptual system.” It plays a major role in how you and I can see the same real world, yet perceive it quite differently. Continue reading
We’ve already looked at a couple who had neglected to share important aspects of their lives with each other until it was almost too late. It is important to recognize when it’s time to speak up about what you are thinking and feeling.
There are also times when it is helpful to keep thoughts and feelings to yourself. Really? When? Continue reading
We each have our special qualities, yet groups of us share characteristics, such as whether one is an introvert or extravert. In her book, “Gifts Differing,” Isabel Briggs Myers states that there are more extraverts than introverts, with extraverts being “more vocal” than introverts.
The implication is that those numerous extraverts are ready and willing to offer their opinions, suggestions, and comments at the drop of a hat, while introverts, for whom it’s natural to remain silent, prefer to leave their thoughts unspoken, even when asked. Continue reading
