Author Archives: RealityCheck

Reality Check: Louder than Thoughts or Feelings

Posted on April 30, 2023 by RealityCheck

“Actions speak louder than words” is an old saying. Do you think it’s true? Many of us do. Words can be empty but actions demonstrate who we really are. Choice Theory offers an extension to that idea by suggesting that … Continue reading →

Posted in Doing, Thinking, Feeling, Physiology | Tagged choosing actions, choosing thoughts, examining options, total behaviour | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Paths We Select Through Our Choices

Posted on April 23, 2023 by RealityCheck

One of the benefits of writing is that people sometimes tell me their stories. I appreciate getting them, especially stories about choices. Recently, a young woman I’ll call Rebecca emailed me. We are acquainted, so the contact wasn’t completely unexpected. … Continue reading →

Posted in Control and Choice | Tagged choosing actions, choosing influences, confidence, examining wants, motivation | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Most Basic Need of All

Posted on April 15, 2023 by RealityCheck

In recent columns, I’ve explored four of the five basic needs that Dr. Glasser suggested are common to all of us. Among those needs is the need for love and belonging. We need to know that we are not alone … Continue reading →

Posted in Needs | Tagged basic needs, need satisfaction | Comments Off

Reality Check: When We Lose Power

Posted on April 8, 2023 by RealityCheck

Dr. Wm. Glasser included power in his list of five basic human needs. As the word “power” can be interpreted in different ways, first let’s consider what power might mean here. I don’t know how you spend your vacation, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Power | Tagged basic needs, conflict, motivation, power | Comments Off

Reality Check: For the Fun of It

Posted on April 1, 2023 by RealityCheck

Are you serious about having fun? Or do you consider fun to be frivolous? Do you treat fun like dessert, saving it for after all the serious business has been handled? Then, if there’s time, maybe you’ll have the opportunity … Continue reading →

Posted in Needs | Tagged basic needs, fun, learning, need satisfaction | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Need to be Free

Posted on March 25, 2023 by RealityCheck

Here in the “true north strong and free,” you might think that everybody understands freedom. According to Dr. Glasser’s choice theory, we all have some level of the need for freedom. We may all have the need, but there are … Continue reading →

Posted in Freedom... | Tagged basic needs, examining wants, freedom, need satisfaction | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Belonging Problem

Posted on March 19, 2023 by RealityCheck

The Choice Theory of Dr. Wm. Glasser suggests that we have five basic needs that motivate us to act. We may choose effective actions that create a satisfying life or we may choose ineffective actions that are counter-productive, even self-destructive. … Continue reading →

Posted in Love & Belonging | Tagged basic needs, examining wants, happiness, need satisfaction | Comments Off

Reality Check: Our Most Basic Needs

Posted on March 5, 2023 by RealityCheck

Are there more incidents of unhappiness now than ever before? The pandemic and the changes that accompanied it can certainly give that impression. There are plenty of stories. Some—about celebrities or strangers—appear in the media. But you may also be … Continue reading →

Posted in Needs | Tagged basic needs, examining wants, happiness, hope, need satisfaction | Comments Off

Reality Check: Negotiating Differences in a Relationship

Posted on February 26, 2023 by RealityCheck

The seventh and final caring habit in Dr. Glasser’s list of caring habits is “always negotiating disagreements,” which I refer to as negotiating differences. It might seem odd to think of negotiations when we’re talking about personal relationships. Negotiating sounds … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged choosing actions, conflict, improving relationships, negotiation | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Habit of Respect

Posted on February 19, 2023 by RealityCheck

If you’ve been following recent columns, you’ll know that I’ve been examining Dr. Glasser’s caring habits for building relationships, one at a time. To recap, those habits are: supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting, and negotiating differences. We’ve now come … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged choosing actions, choosing thoughts, improving relationships, perception | Comments Off