Author Archives: RealityCheck

Asking, Options, and Conflict

Young Sam is conflicted. He could behave responsibly—and be confined to home to help his sick mother. Or he could be independent—and miserable about abandoning his parents. However, after friend Lisa asked him, “Do your parents want you to stay?” … Continue reading

Posted in Family | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Asking, Options, and Conflict

Finding a Third Option for Conflict

Whether it’s a conflict within yourself or with someone else, often only two far-from-ideal options seem to exist. Let’s look again at Sam, who was about to leave home when his mom became ill. Sam is a responsible young man

Posted in Family | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Finding a Third Option for Conflict

Conflicts in the Quality World

What does the word “conflict” mean to you? Is it disagreement with other people?

Posted in Family | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Conflicts in the Quality World

The Frustration Signal

Each of us has a set of tried and true behaviours. Whether we are faced with a stressful situation or just going about our everyday activities, we tend to use behaviours that we’ve used before. We even use favourite self-talk … Continue reading

Posted in Making a Change | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on The Frustration Signal

Packing the Behavioural Suitcase

Let’s imagine that all the behaviours we use are available in our “behavioural suitcases.” How might we pack that suitcase with behaviours that will work most effectively for us?

Posted in Doing, Thinking, Feeling, Physiology | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Packing the Behavioural Suitcase

Our Behavioural Suitcase

When we’re faced with a new situation, how do we choose what to do?  A metaphor used in Reality Therapy to help illustrate how we choose is a “suitcase of behaviours”. That is, pretend that all the behaviours that you … Continue reading

Posted in Doing, Thinking, Feeling, Physiology | Tagged , | Comments Off on Our Behavioural Suitcase

Why? or What Now?

Do you ask people for excuses? That is, do you ever say, “Please make up an excuse for why you acted in that insensitive, thoughtless, or awful manner”? Probably not! After all, an excuse isn’t

Posted in Blame, Criticism & more, Making a Change | Comments Off on Why? or What Now?

Driving Toward Connection

Friends matter!  According to Choice Theory/Reality Therapy, developed by Dr. Wm Glasser, our connections with people are

Posted in Family | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Driving Toward Connection

Marriage: What’s Working?

In his book, Choice Theory, A New Psychology of Personal Freedom, Dr. Glasser reflects on his forty years of psychiatric practice by saying, “It has become apparent to me that all unhappy people have the same problem:

Posted in Marriage | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Marriage: What’s Working?

Marriage: What is “More Effective” Control?

A foundation of Reality Therapy is that each of us can only control our own behaviour. Relationships improve when people

Posted in Marriage | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Marriage: What is “More Effective” Control?