Tag Archives: internal & external control

Tame Choice Overload, Categorically

“It’s overwhelming!” That’s Marci’s reaction to the decision she’s facing now. No longer content to drift in whatever direction life takes her, Marci has decided to choose a career. Great! However, making effective choices is easier said than done.

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If the cat would only change

Making life choices and learning how to get along can be hard work.  Let’s try a light-hearted approach for a change. After all, according to reality therapy, everyone has a basic need for fun! If you’re familiar with households that … Continue reading

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Looking for Belonging

One self-defense strategy against cyber bullying, as I’d suggested in an earlier column, is to learn Choice Theory. That can help someone who feels attacked realize that other people don’t “make” us do things, and therefore choose more effective behaviours. … Continue reading

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“Made” You Look!

The recent news of cyber bullying is a reminder of how “interesting” teenage life can be. While teasing, tormenting, and harassing behaviours have long existed; the apparent anonymity of the Internet emboldens some

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Changing Those Discouraging Thoughts

Last column, I suggested some actions to help move away from “discouraging,” as changing what we do is the most effective route to changing what we feel. The next most effective way to change a feeling is to change what … Continue reading

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Communication: The ‘How-to’ of Talking

In a quest for a more satisfying (or at least, less irritating) life with his parents, Liam has asked cousin Larry for help. Now, Liam’s wondering if the reason Larry gets along with his parents is because

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Communication: You can’t make me talk

Liam is in a power struggle with his parents over his refusal to communicate. From Liam’s perspective, they interrogate him—questioning where he goes, whom he sees, what he does. It’s stifling, and his response up to now has been to … Continue reading

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Communication: What’s the Message?

“If only we could communicate.”  Whether verbal or non-verbal, we communicate to send messages to the people around us. Clearly, some communications are more effective than others. Let’s take a look at Liam, who, according to his parents, is rebellious

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External Control vs. Happier Relationships

Kristen and Sherri are in the midst of the first dispute of their shared-living arrangement. Kristen is attempting to coerce Sherri into celebrating their first evening in the city

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Lessons for Happier Relationships

Marriage is an important relationship, so there’s lots of marital advice available. In the book, Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage, cowritten with his wife Carleen, Dr. Wm. Glasser offers a “self-study” approach to improving marriage using Choice Theory/Reality Therapy. … Continue reading

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