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articles and observations inspired by the work of Dr. William GlasserCategories
Tag Archives: internal & external control
The Helping Agenda
To finish up this series on agendas in relationships, let’s take a look at a “helping” relationship. This could be a counselling relationship, but I’ll look at a simpler relationship, such as with a coach or a mentor. When one … Continue reading
Posted in Helping Others
Tagged internal & external control, win-win
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The Friendship Agenda
Is there an agenda for friendship? The term “agenda” is so often used negatively (as in “hidden agenda”) that the idea of a friendship agenda might seem cold or even devious. An agenda, though, is just a plan; whether it’s … Continue reading
Posted in Relationships
Tagged improving relationships, internal & external control
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Are you guilt-ing?
A benefit of applying choice theory/reality therapy in your life is that you can gain personal freedom—the freedom that comes with understanding what you can and cannot control. In previous columns, we’ve looked at situations where people attempt to coerce … Continue reading
Posted in Guilt, Unfairness & more
Tagged freedom, internal & external control, making choices, win-win
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Guilty? Or Not Guilty?
Internal motivation is a foundation of choice theory/reality therapy. The idea is that our actions—the behaviours we choose—aren’t forced on us, but are the result of choices made in our own brains. Because reality therapy views behaviour as not only … Continue reading
Posted in Guilt, Unfairness & more
Tagged improving relationships, internal & external control, making choices, win-win
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Tame Choice Overload, Categorically
“It’s overwhelming!” That’s Marci’s reaction to the decision she’s facing now. No longer content to drift in whatever direction life takes her, Marci has decided to choose a career. Great! However, making effective choices is easier said than done.
Posted in Choosing Behaviour
Tagged examining wants, internal & external control
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If the cat would only change
Making life choices and learning how to get along can be hard work. Let’s try a light-hearted approach for a change. After all, according to reality therapy, everyone has a basic need for fun! If you’re familiar with households that … Continue reading
Posted in Choosing Behaviour
Tagged internal & external control, making choices
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Looking for Belonging
One self-defense strategy against cyber bullying, as I’d suggested in an earlier column, is to learn Choice Theory. That can help someone who feels attacked realize that other people don’t “make” us do things, and therefore choose more effective behaviours. … Continue reading
Posted in Choosing Behaviour
Tagged improving relationships, internal & external control, need satisfaction
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“Made” You Look!
The recent news of cyber bullying is a reminder of how “interesting” teenage life can be. While teasing, tormenting, and harassing behaviours have long existed; the apparent anonymity of the Internet emboldens some
Posted in Choosing Behaviour
Tagged conflict, freedom, internal & external control
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Changing Those Discouraging Thoughts
Last column, I suggested some actions to help move away from “discouraging,” as changing what we do is the most effective route to changing what we feel. The next most effective way to change a feeling is to change what … Continue reading
Posted in Doing, Thinking, Feeling, Physiology
Tagged discouragement, internal & external control, making choices
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Communication: The ‘How-to’ of Talking
In a quest for a more satisfying (or at least, less irritating) life with his parents, Liam has asked cousin Larry for help. Now, Liam’s wondering if the reason Larry gets along with his parents is because
Posted in Family
Tagged blame, conflict, criticism, internal & external control, negotiation
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