Tag Archives: internal & external control

Reality Check: A Picture of Perfection

Posted on September 24, 2012 by RealityCheck

Selma had looked forward to retirement with great anticipation. Healthy and frugal, with both a good pension and physical well-being, she pictured a perfect retirement. Travel, home renovations, dinners and outings with friends—all are experiences she’s been postponing. Now, it’s … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: What is closure, and how does one get it?

Posted on July 29, 2012 by RealityCheck

Whether you have wronged someone or someone has wronged you, healing sometimes involves closure. Closure implies putting the event behind you; “closing the door,” so to speak. How does one get closure? Rachel was Emily’s best friend, but no longer. … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: To Temper a Temper

Posted on June 17, 2012 by RealityCheck

Aren’t words fun? The phrase “to temper” means to calm, whereas a person who “has a temper” is angry. If you have a temper, do you have a choice? Or is your temper out of your control? Josie has a … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: A Material World

Posted on May 18, 2012 by RealityCheck

Time and again, I hear folks say, “We are too materialistic; we buy too much; we throw too much away. We have too much debt, we have too much stress; we should stop living like this.” Does that sound familiar … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Taking Active Control

Posted on March 23, 2012 by RealityCheck

Gregory has been waiting for years for an appointment with a medical specialist. We know that it can feel like years when we’re waiting, but Gregory says that literally years have gone by without even an initial appointment. That’s not … Continue reading →

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Behavioural Choices and Learning

Posted on October 14, 2011 by RealityCheck

Last column, I introduced the learning challenges of Suzi and Simon. Suzi used to perceive learning as fun until that day when she missed the introduction to algebraic equations. Now, she fears that she’s lost that and every future math … Continue reading →

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Everybody’s still picking on Johnny

Posted on September 12, 2011 by RealityCheck

Firmly fixed in Johnny’s mind is the idea that life is unfair. More specifically, life is unfair to him. Whether it’s at work, with his parents, his teachers, even with his friends, Johnny often feels as if he is under … Continue reading →

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Everybody picks on Johnny, part 2

Posted on September 12, 2011 by RealityCheck

Johnny feels picked on. He is sure that he is treated unfairly compared to others. Even worse, he is convinced that it’s the story of his entire life. When I introduced Johnny in an earlier column, I suggested that he … Continue reading →

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Wherever you go, there you are

Posted on September 12, 2011 by RealityCheck

We all need others to some degree. In reality therapy, that’s referred to as the need for love and belonging. Our lives are more satisfying when we can spend time with people we care about. However, there are benefits to … Continue reading →

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The Unspoken Bargain

Posted on September 12, 2011 by RealityCheck

Have you ever entered into a bargain without realizing it? Alice did, and now she’s getting a daily dose of frustration from an arrangement she thought would be to her benefit. Here’s her story. 

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