Tag Archives: internal & external control

Reality Check: The computer made me do it…

Posted on May 5, 2013 by RealityCheck

Can a computer “make” you mad? If you’ve ever sat in front of one when things aren’t going well, you understand the question! Whatever the problem: the printer won’t print, the email won’t email, or google declines to google, you’re … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Hot Buttons

Posted on March 17, 2013 by RealityCheck

“He pushes my buttons! He knows that I have a temper so he gets me going; then he walks away smirking as if he had nothing to do with it. He does it on purpose to get me into trouble. … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Mottoes, Slogans, and Sayings

Posted on December 9, 2012 by RealityCheck

“Live your dream!” “Take pride in your work” “Be true to yourself!” “Have a great day!” We’ve all heard them, and maybe even used them. These are the slogans, mottoes, and sayings that we sometimes use to replace thoughtful conversation. … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: For Real?

Posted on November 18, 2012 by RealityCheck

There’s a thought-provoking TV commercial where a beautiful young woman expresses, “I believe the earth is our future; our children’s future.” The love-struck young fella across the table agrees, “We are so the same! For real!” What a coincidence! What … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Shaking Off External Control

Posted on November 10, 2012 by RealityCheck

Last column, I described a mother-daughter conflict where mom, Sandy, tried to compel her daughter Chloe to study in a specific way. Sandy is convinced that she knows what’s best for Chloe. Now, let’s look at the situation from Chloe’s … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Ease off External Control

Posted on November 4, 2012 by RealityCheck

The Reality Therapy approach emphasizes that when we use external control, unhappy relationships are the likely result. What is external control, exactly? In “Take Charge of Your Life,” Dr. Glasser says, “In a relationship, it is a belief that what … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: A Picture of Perfection

Posted on September 24, 2012 by RealityCheck

Selma had looked forward to retirement with great anticipation. Healthy and frugal, with both a good pension and physical well-being, she pictured a perfect retirement. Travel, home renovations, dinners and outings with friends—all are experiences she’s been postponing. Now, it’s … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: What is closure, and how does one get it?

Posted on July 29, 2012 by RealityCheck

Whether you have wronged someone or someone has wronged you, healing sometimes involves closure. Closure implies putting the event behind you; “closing the door,” so to speak. How does one get closure? Rachel was Emily’s best friend, but no longer. … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: To Temper a Temper

Posted on June 17, 2012 by RealityCheck

Aren’t words fun? The phrase “to temper” means to calm, whereas a person who “has a temper” is angry. If you have a temper, do you have a choice? Or is your temper out of your control? Josie has a … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: A Material World

Posted on May 18, 2012 by RealityCheck

Time and again, I hear folks say, “We are too materialistic; we buy too much; we throw too much away. We have too much debt, we have too much stress; we should stop living like this.” Does that sound familiar … Continue reading →

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