Category Archives: Choosing Behaviour

Reality Check: Who’s holding the pen?

Posted on March 31, 2012 by RealityCheck

How much of our troubles (or our happiness) do you believe we are responsible for causing ourselves? All? None? Some? My Reality Therapy colleague, Becky Wentzell, uses the metaphor of looking at your life as a story to help folks … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Taking Active Control

Posted on March 23, 2012 by RealityCheck

Gregory has been waiting for years for an appointment with a medical specialist. We know that it can feel like years when we’re waiting, but Gregory says that literally years have gone by without even an initial appointment. That’s not … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Fairest of Them All

Posted on March 16, 2012 by RealityCheck

No, this column isn’t about Snow White; it’s about fairness. Of course, Snow White’s beauty did offer her an unfair advantage over the wicked queen. And, the wicked queen had the unfair advantage of power. Fairness is complicated, isn’t it? … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Can’t, Won’t, Don’t? or Can, Will, Do?

Posted on March 10, 2012 by RealityCheck

I can’t, I won’t, I don’t want! There’s always something that we can’t do, won’t do, or don’t want. And, there are things that we can do, will do, and do want. Which is most helpful to focus on? Elyssa … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Thinking of “Thank You”

Posted on February 16, 2012 by RealityCheck

Self-help programs often promote the benefits of gratitude. Especially during those times when you are feeling particularly ungrateful, thinking and saying “thank you” can be really helpful. Let’s say you wake up feeling grumpy. Sometimes it happens! There may be … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Workable Conflict

Posted on February 4, 2012 by RealityCheck

A workable conflict is one where work can improve the situation. That’s in contrast to the other type of conflict—unworkable—where you’re truly between “a rock and a hard place” and no amount of work will result in improvement. Workable conflicts … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: An Unworkable Conflict

Posted on January 26, 2012 by RealityCheck

Opportunities for conflict abound. That’s reality. Whether those conflicts grow into overwhelming difficulties or fade into minor irritations can depend largely on the choices we make. That’s reality therapy. What behaviours are helpful when we’re faced with a conflict?

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Control, Need-Satisfaction, and Alcohol

Posted on January 15, 2012 by RealityCheck

Do you know someone who is trapped in a difficult, unsatisfying situation? It’s painful to watch, isn’t it? It’s even worse if you perceive that a happy, satisfying life could be readily available. Mick and Minnie’s friends see a simple … Continue reading →

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A New Year, A New Blog

Posted on January 6, 2012 by RealityCheck

The beginning of another year often inspires folks to look at their lives and choose to make resolutions to change. While we could resolve to make a change any time, it seems easier when others are doing it too…providing us … Continue reading →

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Contradictory Behaviours

Posted on November 18, 2011 by RealityCheck

Do you know anyone who says they want to change, but whose actions lead away from the result they say they want? It happens, and it’s much easier to recognize that behaviour in others than in us. Of course, that … Continue reading →

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