Category Archives: Choosing Behaviour

Reality Check: From Self-Evaluation to Change

Posted on April 29, 2012 by RealityCheck

Self-evaluation, in the choice theory perspective, is that important step when we look at what we do and make a judgment about it. The word “judgment” often carries a negative connotation; however, judgment is helpful when you use it to … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Hard Work of Positive Thinking

Posted on April 14, 2012 by RealityCheck

When discouragement hits, it can be hard to imagine that you have any choice at all about how you feel. The total behaviour aspect of choice theory states that taking action of some sort is the most direct approach to … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Resilient Children; Resilient Adults

Posted on April 6, 2012 by RealityCheck

When things are going well in our lives, it’s easy to feel satisfied, to view ourselves as being effective, and to build good relationships with people. However, at some point, every one of us will experience a setback, a disappointment, … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Who’s holding the pen?

Posted on March 31, 2012 by RealityCheck

How much of our troubles (or our happiness) do you believe we are responsible for causing ourselves? All? None? Some? My Reality Therapy colleague, Becky Wentzell, uses the metaphor of looking at your life as a story to help folks … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Taking Active Control

Posted on March 23, 2012 by RealityCheck

Gregory has been waiting for years for an appointment with a medical specialist. We know that it can feel like years when we’re waiting, but Gregory says that literally years have gone by without even an initial appointment. That’s not … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Fairest of Them All

Posted on March 16, 2012 by RealityCheck

No, this column isn’t about Snow White; it’s about fairness. Of course, Snow White’s beauty did offer her an unfair advantage over the wicked queen. And, the wicked queen had the unfair advantage of power. Fairness is complicated, isn’t it? … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Can’t, Won’t, Don’t? or Can, Will, Do?

Posted on March 10, 2012 by RealityCheck

I can’t, I won’t, I don’t want! There’s always something that we can’t do, won’t do, or don’t want. And, there are things that we can do, will do, and do want. Which is most helpful to focus on? Elyssa … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Thinking of “Thank You”

Posted on February 16, 2012 by RealityCheck

Self-help programs often promote the benefits of gratitude. Especially during those times when you are feeling particularly ungrateful, thinking and saying “thank you” can be really helpful. Let’s say you wake up feeling grumpy. Sometimes it happens! There may be … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Workable Conflict

Posted on February 4, 2012 by RealityCheck

A workable conflict is one where work can improve the situation. That’s in contrast to the other type of conflict—unworkable—where you’re truly between “a rock and a hard place” and no amount of work will result in improvement. Workable conflicts … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: An Unworkable Conflict

Posted on January 26, 2012 by RealityCheck

Opportunities for conflict abound. That’s reality. Whether those conflicts grow into overwhelming difficulties or fade into minor irritations can depend largely on the choices we make. That’s reality therapy. What behaviours are helpful when we’re faced with a conflict?

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