Author Archives: RealityCheck

Reality Check: Thinking of “Thank You”

Posted on February 16, 2012 by RealityCheck

Self-help programs often promote the benefits of gratitude. Especially during those times when you are feeling particularly ungrateful, thinking and saying “thank you” can be really helpful. Let’s say you wake up feeling grumpy. Sometimes it happens! There may be … Continue reading →

Posted in Making a Change | Tagged making choices, total behaviour, unhappiness | Comments Off

Reality Check: “Constructive” Criticism; Is it a Con?

Posted on February 9, 2012 by RealityCheck

People often try to be helpful, though it might not seem that way when you’re on the receiving end of their helpfulness. For example, think about how you would feel if you were told, “You seem awfully cranky. You should … Continue reading →

Posted in Blame, Criticism & more | Tagged conflict, criticism, examining options, improving relationships | Comments Off

Reality Check: Workable Conflict

Posted on February 4, 2012 by RealityCheck

A workable conflict is one where work can improve the situation. That’s in contrast to the other type of conflict—unworkable—where you’re truly between “a rock and a hard place” and no amount of work will result in improvement. Workable conflicts … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged conflict, examining options | Comments Off

Reality Check: An Unworkable Conflict

Posted on January 26, 2012 by RealityCheck

Opportunities for conflict abound. That’s reality. Whether those conflicts grow into overwhelming difficulties or fade into minor irritations can depend largely on the choices we make. That’s reality therapy. What behaviours are helpful when we’re faced with a conflict?

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged conflict, making choices, unhappiness | Comments Off

Reality Check: If Romeo and Juliet knew Choice Theory…

Posted on January 22, 2012 by RealityCheck

Great romances can make for great drama, and the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet pretty much takes the cake for drama, complexity, and unfortunate outcome. Drama occurs in present-day romances too,

Posted in Relationships | Tagged conflict, making choices | Comments Off

Control, Need-Satisfaction, and Alcohol

Posted on January 15, 2012 by RealityCheck

Do you know someone who is trapped in a difficult, unsatisfying situation? It’s painful to watch, isn’t it? It’s even worse if you perceive that a happy, satisfying life could be readily available. Mick and Minnie’s friends see a simple … Continue reading →

Posted in Helping Others | Tagged conflict, need satisfaction, unhappiness | Comments Off

A New Year, A New Blog

Posted on January 6, 2012 by RealityCheck

The beginning of another year often inspires folks to look at their lives and choose to make resolutions to change. While we could resolve to make a change any time, it seems easier when others are doing it too…providing us … Continue reading →

Posted in Making a Change | Tagged examining wants | Comments Off

The Solving Circle

Posted on December 23, 2011 by RealityCheck

Very simple ideas are sometimes the most effective when trying to improve a relationship. One such idea from choice theory that can help with relationship problems is the “solving circle.” The solving circle is an abstract idea, so to make … Continue reading →

Posted in Marriage | Tagged conflict, improving relationships, negotiation | Comments Off

Love, Belonging, and Compatibility

Posted on December 17, 2011 by RealityCheck

The idea of love & belonging goes naturally with any discussion of compatibility, doesn’t it? After all, isn’t that why couples become couples: to satisfy their need for love & belonging? However, in choice theory, the strength of the love … Continue reading →

Posted in Marriage | Tagged improving relationships, need satisfaction, unhappiness | Comments Off

Compatibility and Power

Posted on December 12, 2011 by RealityCheck

Continuing our discussion of compatibility and needs, let’s look at power. The word “power” can have negative connotations, but everyone has some need for it. In choice theory, power refers to the perfectly natural need for appreciation and recognition: knowing … Continue reading →

Posted in Marriage | Tagged conflict, improving relationships, need satisfaction | Comments Off