Tag Archives: conflict

Reality Check: Apologies, Demands, and Power

Posted on September 22, 2013 by RealityCheck

An apology is often an effective response when someone has been wronged. Yet, there are also unsatisfying apology scenarios where someone—the victim, the offender, or both—walk away feeling, well…unsatisfied. You know something is still not OK, even if you can’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged "should", conflict, need satisfaction | Comments Off

Reality Check: Archie, Meathead, and External Control

Posted on July 16, 2013 by RealityCheck

If you recognize the title of this column from “All in the Family,” then either you remember the 70s or you have been watching TV reruns! Regardless of whether you loved it or hated it, that TV sitcom has become … Continue reading →

Posted in How it is sometimes | Tagged conflict, criticism, internal & external control | Comments Off

Reality Check: Hot Buttons

Posted on March 17, 2013 by RealityCheck

“He pushes my buttons! He knows that I have a temper so he gets me going; then he walks away smirking as if he had nothing to do with it. He does it on purpose to get me into trouble. … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged conflict, dissatisfaction, internal & external control | Comments Off

Reality Check: Must we disagree?

Posted on January 27, 2013 by RealityCheck

Do you want to get along with others? With all kinds of people in the world, each with our different beliefs and values, it’s impossible to agree with everyone. Sometimes those disagreements are minor, while others cut to the very … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged "should", conflict, criticism, improving relationships | Comments Off

Reality Check: What’s fair in love and chores?

Posted on October 14, 2012 by RealityCheck

A recent study by a Norwegian researcher generated headlines with its conclusion that couples who share housework equally are more likely to divorce than couples where women do most of the household chores. Almost simultaneously, a British study concluded that … Continue reading →

Posted in Marriage | Tagged "should", conflict, fairness | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Fairest of Them All

Posted on March 16, 2012 by RealityCheck

No, this column isn’t about Snow White; it’s about fairness. Of course, Snow White’s beauty did offer her an unfair advantage over the wicked queen. And, the wicked queen had the unfair advantage of power. Fairness is complicated, isn’t it? … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged conflict, fairness, win-win | Comments Off

Reality Check: “Constructive” Criticism; Is it a Con?

Posted on February 9, 2012 by RealityCheck

People often try to be helpful, though it might not seem that way when you’re on the receiving end of their helpfulness. For example, think about how you would feel if you were told, “You seem awfully cranky. You should … Continue reading →

Posted in Blame, Criticism & more | Tagged conflict, criticism, examining options, improving relationships | Comments Off

Reality Check: Workable Conflict

Posted on February 4, 2012 by RealityCheck

A workable conflict is one where work can improve the situation. That’s in contrast to the other type of conflict—unworkable—where you’re truly between “a rock and a hard place” and no amount of work will result in improvement. Workable conflicts … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged conflict, examining options | Comments Off

Reality Check: An Unworkable Conflict

Posted on January 26, 2012 by RealityCheck

Opportunities for conflict abound. That’s reality. Whether those conflicts grow into overwhelming difficulties or fade into minor irritations can depend largely on the choices we make. That’s reality therapy. What behaviours are helpful when we’re faced with a conflict?

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged conflict, making choices, unhappiness | Comments Off

Reality Check: If Romeo and Juliet knew Choice Theory…

Posted on January 22, 2012 by RealityCheck

Great romances can make for great drama, and the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet pretty much takes the cake for drama, complexity, and unfortunate outcome. Drama occurs in present-day romances too,

Posted in Relationships | Tagged conflict, making choices | Comments Off