Reality Check: Young People Today…

How would you finish the phrase, “Young people today…”?

A frequent theme is, “Young people today don’t want to work,” or “Young people today can’t handle money,” or “Young people today expect to be taken care of.”

That criticism often concludes with, “When I was young…” because of course, when we were young, we were responsible, virtuous, essentially, pretty much perfect. At least I was, and as you’re reading this post, then you probably were too. Right? Continue reading

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Reality Check: The Other Toxin

If you pay attention to health-related matters, then you’ve heard of toxins. Whether in air, food, or water, toxins are often suspected of causing disease.

There’s another toxin that can have a significant impact on one’s life: the toxic relationship! This can be particularly troublesome in families. Why? Continue reading

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Reality Check: Great Expectations

Hannah perceives that she is criticized. When family or friends get together, she comes away feeling like an underachiever. Her brother’s children excel, her sister makes more money, and her friends’ lives are more exciting.

Although no one is critical to her face, Hannah is convinced that she just doesn’t measure up.

Recently, Hannah was introduced to pottery- making. She instantly fell in love. The colours, the smells, the feel of the mud under her fingernails; everything about pottery speaks to her in a fundamental way. Continue reading

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Reality Check: Turn Around

Relationships have differences. If those differences aren’t handled well, they can lead to unfortunate consequences: marriage breakup, financial hardship, traumatized children.

Differences at work can lead to people quitting or being fired, to stress, anxiety, lost productivity, and lost opportunities.

There are practical benefits to handling differences so the outcome is “win-win” rather than “I win-you lose.”  Choice theory suggests, “Always negotiate differences.” Here’s the rub:

When you (or I) disagree with someone, we’re pretty sure that we’re right. It’s rare that we perceive ourselves as the stubborn, uncompromising one with the unreasonable position. Why would I negotiate when I’m right? Continue reading

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Reality Check: Attitude in Action

What’s the most important attribute for success? Ask an employer, teacher, or coach, and it’s pretty likely that somewhere in the answer you’ll find reference to the need for “a good attitude.”

In fact, entire libraries could be filled with books, magazine articles, and motivational videos that discuss and promote the importance of a good attitude.

Hailey had some social challenges when she was a teenager in high school. That, combined with a love of partying and a lack of clarity about where she would ever use “school stuff” resulted in her becoming an adult with very limited employment options. Continue reading

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Reality Check: Working with different people

Workplaces usually focus more on their business—producing products or delivering services—than worrying about how their willing workers are getting along.

However, “getting along” at work isn’t just a feel-good concept; it can have a significant impact on productivity.

At work, it’s unlikely that you will be surrounded by people just like you. It’s also improbable that your colleagues were carefully chosen to complement your specific strengths and preferences! Continue reading

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Reality Check: Different people; different strengths

Different people are different. OK, you knew that already. Something else you may know is that there are people who think, believe, and act in ways that can seem baffling.

At some point, you will likely find yourself working, interacting, perhaps even living with (or married to) someone who is quite different from you. How can you cope with these differences? Continue reading

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Reality Check: Your own influence

In my last column, I discussed the influence of Dr. William Glasser. His books and the training that’s offered in choice theory and reality therapy has an impact on folks all over the world.

However, it’s not only world-renowned authors, psychiatrists, or speakers who have influence! Each of us, through the actions we choose, has influence.

Long ago, well before I had heard of Dr. Glasser or reality therapy, I remember spending coffee break bellyaching to Ian, a fellow instructor. “Is all this extra work that we do worthwhile? Do the students or their employers know? Does going the extra mile to prepare this workforce really matter?” Continue reading

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Reality Check: Dr. Glasser’s influence

Dr. William Glasser passed away recently. Even though it’s less than a decade since I first became aware of choice theory and reality therapy, Dr. Glasser’s work now influences almost everything I do.

There are plenty of theories about why humans behave as we do, and you can find lots of advice about how to live a happier, more satisfying life. Some advice conflicts with other advice! How can you know what will work for you? Continue reading

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Reality Check: The Dragonfly’s Options

A dragonfly trapped himself in the porch the other day. You know how that goes, don’t you? For a long time, he beat his head and wings against the closed window, while the open door stood beckoning barely six inches away.

Had the dragonfly chosen to back up a little bit, it would have been easy for him to see that he had options. He didn’t have to continue to bang his head against the wall (or the window, in this case.)

Does that situation sound at all familiar to you? Continue reading

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