How we use our words can shape our thoughts and attitudes. Love is many-splendored indeed, and we use the word “love” in many ways.
Anna says, “I’m not in love with my husband anymore. We used to be in love, but now we’re not.”
“In love” implies a state of being, much like being in trouble, or in debt, or in between jobs. It kind of implies that love is done to you; you were walking along minding your own business and zap! You found yourself in love! Continue reading
It’s a beautiful day. You, however, have to go to work. And mow the lawn. And take the kids to practice, the cat to the vet, and visit the in-laws.
Does it seem that your to-do list goes on and on? That you can never catch up? And there’s barely a minute that truly belongs to you? Continue reading
Are you in the “people business”? Almost certainly, the answer is… yes!
In their book, Have a Nice Conflict, Scudder, Patterson, and Mitchell assert that everyone is in the people business. There’s nary a line of work where people aren’t involved —whether you build products, greet customers, run a household, or raise a family.
Even if you accept that the people business is all-encompassing, there’s still the reasonable question: “So what?” Continue reading
Anger, like many negative emotions, can ruin your whole day, eh? Depending on the severity, anger can leave a bad taste for weeks, months, or even a whole lifetime.
It may be tempting to believe that we can’t control our anger. Everyone understands this statement: “He (or she) makes me so mad!” The implication is that other people can control our emotions; they can literally “make” us mad. Is it really true? Continue reading
A choice theory premise is that we can’t control other people; however, we can offer information. Someone who accepts information might learn a new fact, be persuaded to make a decision, or be influenced to act differently.
Fundamentally, though, what we offer is just information. The person on the receiving end chooses to use it or not. They have the power to listen to it, act on it, reject it, or ignore it. Continue reading
Bad things can happen to anyone. While we can take action to try to prevent some bad things by driving cautiously, choosing friends carefully, eating reasonably, the reality is that many events are completely beyond our control.
We do have some control, however, over how we respond to events. You’ve probably witnessed different people reacting quite differently to the same bad event. While one person remains completely devastated, another emerges apparently unscathed.
Let’s look at Bea and Dee. Both have disentangled themselves from equally difficult relationships. Continue reading
Bob’s the kind of guy who always seems to know what to do and is always ready to lend a hand. He’s strong, capable, and independent.
Then, Bob had a heart attack.
Did that change Bob’s life? Well, the doctors told him to slow down and take it easy. They warned him about overdoing himself. His wife warned him. His children warned him.
But what’s Bob do? Hang around and wait for somebody else to shovel the driveway, mow the lawn, rake the leaves? There’s work to be done! Continue reading
Have you heard any white lies lately? Maybe even told one or two of your own? We sometimes tell tiny falsehoods to avoid hurt feelings; fibs intended to be virtuous, not evil.
However, just because we have positive intent with our white lie doesn’t mean it will bring a positive result.
Wilson wants to avoid the family reunion. He has little in common with the extended family. He’s forced to overeat. It’s boring. Basically, he just doesn’t want to go. Continue reading
