With delicate precision, the grandkids smeared stinky cheese into Grandpa’s moustache while he snoozed. Grandpa awakes, it stinks! No matter where he goes, everything stinks. The whole world stinks!
It can be surprisingly hard to tell whether it’s the whole world that stinks, or just that tiny speck under your nose!
Have you ever been around someone for whom everything “stinks”? How much fun is that? And here’s a stinky question: Is that ever you? Continue reading
Do you believe that having self-confidence is important, satisfying, and helpful?
My next question: “Are you a self-confident person?”
There are many competent, skilled, accomplished people who lack self-confidence, and they know it’s an unsatisfying state.
You might think that when one is competent (capable, skilled) that confidence automatically tags along. Conversely, when one is not competent, you’d think there would be a corresponding lack of confidence.
However, the relationship between competence and confidence isn’t so straightforward! Continue reading
“Why so glum, Jim?”
“I just got a compliment. At least, I guess that’s what it was. I did a favour for Mary, and she told me how grateful she is to have me around, that I’m always so loyal and faithful and friendly.”
“I can understand why she would say that. So, what’s the matter?”
“Well, those are the same words that you would use to describe a black lab!”
There is an essential truth to that observation, isn’t there? Many of the qualities that make dogs “human’s best friends” are the same qualities that we value in our human friends. Continue reading
How do we learn? One effective method involves coming up with an idea and then trying an experiment to see whether the idea works as we think it will. Observe what happens, and then draw a conclusion based on what we see. Did the idea work as expected? Or not? Either way, we have learned something.
We spend a good part of our lives offering information to people. Sometimes, we have the chance to express positive and encouraging sentiments. Other times, there’s the need to indicate a problem, a challenge, or an outcome that didn’t meet expectations.
In the inquiring spirit of experimentation, then, here’s a question. Which type of information connects with the most effective change in behaviour: encouraging information that recognizes achievements? Or corrective information that points out mistakes? Continue reading
Reality. You would think we’d all agree on what it is, wouldn’t you? Yet, two people can be exposed to the same situation or read exactly the same words and come away with quite different perceptions. How does that happen?
According to Dr. Wm. Glasser and others, we experience the world through filters. Here’s a brief (and only moderately filtered) explanation of some of Glasser’s choice theory concepts around filters.
We sense the real world through sight, sound, taste, etc. However, whether we pay attention to the information that we have sensed depends on our interests at the time. Continue reading
Last column, I offered suggestions regarding workplace evaluations and ways to prepare so as to gain some control over what can be a stressful situation.
The workplace is not the only venue where we are evaluated! What’s happening when your mother-in-law suggests that you are not doing a very effective job of bringing up her grandchildren? How about when your loving spouse tells you that you are driving too fast? Or your child turns up her nose at the food you have offered? Continue reading
At some point in our lives, most of us are evaluated. Evaluation may be a rare, stress-filled event or a routine, near-constant process.
Evaluation occurs at school, when a teacher assigns a grade. As adults, we are often evaluated in the workplace, when our employer assesses our performance. In less-formal, but no less significant contexts, actors, artists, and writers are reviewed and critiqued whenever they create.
So whether it’s by way of a formal mark, a performance review, or an off-hand comment by a friend, we are evaluated. Continue reading
