We could choose to deliberately shield ourselves from the world. However, most of us don’t. Thus, we are exposed to news items, study results, and opinions that you’d almost suspect were designed to provoke outrage in any “reasonable person.”
One example is a regularly published study that compares salaries of top-paid CEOs to the salaries of the rest of us. In case you weren’t sure, the CEO salary is bigger. The story is often accompanied by the observation that the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer, and things just aren’t right. It’s an outrage.
What happens when you hear that? Here’s my guess:
In this continuing series on helpful values that seldom make the news, this column’s value is “taking the high road.” Does that get the tune for The Bonnie Banks of Loch Lomond running through your mind?
You might express this value as, “doing the right thing,” “being the bigger person,” or observing a moral code.
Choice theory suggests that we control our own behaviour; all that other people can do is offer information to us. However, if you’ve ever been criticized or opposed, then you know that it can be difficult to choose to perceive that you have been “offered information,” rather than personally attacked. Continue reading
Last column, I suggested that being aware of your values can help you make choices that lead you toward the life that you want. We looked at the value of persistence; now let’s look at the value of “reducing waste.”
Reducing waste is pretty popular nowadays, with folks washing out their yogurt containers, recycling their flyers, and composting their coffee grounds.
If you are a Nova Scotian of a certain age and upbringing, you will remember when everything was used, reused, or made over. Whether you called it frugality or practicality, the reality was using leftovers for soups, suttles for mats, yarn-ends for mittens.
So, if you are one of the many folks with a longstanding dislike of waste, then I’m sure that this value continues to influence your decisions today. Continue reading
Some situations seem to call for obvious reactions. However, even when we think there’s only one logical response, there are often many options available for our choosing. How can we figure out which choice is most effective?
Doris’s husband, Bob, works long hours and has considerable responsibility. Doris has never had much interest in Bob’s work, so when he off-handedly mentioned that he has a new trainee: “JJ,” Doris paid little mind.
When Bob forgot his keys, Doris didn’t resist razzing him a little about “senior moments.” She popped into Bob’s workplace to deliver the keys and was met by a stunning blonde in coveralls. “Hi, I’m JJ. I can take those to Bob.” Continue reading
If the word “stew” only brings to mind that tasty dish from a crockpot, you’re fortunate! For many, stewing means worrying, and it’s often over something completely out of one’s control.
Everybody has setbacks, and it can be mighty difficult to get your mind off of them. Regardless of whether you call it fretting, ruminating, or cogitating, stewing takes place in your mind (perhaps enhanced by an uncomfortable feeling in your belly.)
For some situations, there is no action to take; you can only wait. In others, you could take action but you’re, well…stewing instead. Continue reading
Can you raise someone’s self-esteem? Perhaps more to the point, can you (or anyone) lower someone’s self-esteem?
The choice theory view is that we can’t make anyone (other than ourselves) happy, sad, angry, or anything else; each of us does that for ourselves. For example, you might praise my work, but I can choose to take that as genuine praise, as sarcasm, or even as implied criticism.
So, if I can’t “make” you happy or sad, then it’s unlikely that I could “make” you raise your self-esteem, either! Continue reading
The William Glasser organization just launched a website called Mental Health & Happiness at www.mentalhealthandhappiness.com Associating mental health with happiness may not make sense if your picture of happiness is giddy laughter, personal indulgence, or fantastic luck. If so, you might perceive a quest for happiness as futile, frivolous, or even selfish.
In light of that perception, I prefer the term “satisfaction.” Do you picture satisfaction as lying idly on a beach? Or do you see satisfaction as being involved and working at something (or with someone) that matters to you? Continue reading
How would you finish the phrase, “Young people today…”?
A frequent theme is, “Young people today don’t want to work,” or “Young people today can’t handle money,” or “Young people today expect to be taken care of.”
That criticism often concludes with, “When I was young…” because of course, when we were young, we were responsible, virtuous, essentially, pretty much perfect. At least I was, and as you’re reading this post, then you probably were too. Right? Continue reading
