Does the tension and stress in your life contribute to your physical health? Likely so. Is there anything that you can do about it? That’s the big question, isn’t it? Continue reading
Last post, I suggested that it can be interesting and helpful to understand your need strength profile. That is, rate how strong each of these five basic needs are for you: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.
What happens when two people get together with the hope of a long-term relationship? Now there are two sets of needs to consider! That combination may hold the ingredients for a deep, loving connection or for a more conflicted, challenging relationship. Which will it be? Continue reading
Choice Theory proposes that every human being has the same five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. However, that doesn’t imply that we are identical; far from it!
The strength of each of those needs contributes to our personality. One person might have a high need for freedom; another might have a low need for freedom and a high need for fun.
Understanding one’s need strength profile can be helpful for a relationship. In his book, “Getting Together and Staying Together, Solving the Mystery of Marriage,” Dr. Glasser suggests that some need strength combinations offer more promising possibilities for a satisfying relationship than others. Continue reading
“He pushes my buttons! He knows that I have a temper so he gets me going; then he walks away smirking as if he had nothing to do with it. He does it on purpose to get me into trouble. It shouldn’t be allowed. Everybody knows I can’t help it.”
That’s Samantha’s perception of her interactions with Daniel. He taunts her, embarrasses her, and attempts to make her life miserable. When he starts smirking, she feels her face get hot and her tantrum starts. Continue reading
Reality Therapy emphasizes our need for relationships. That’s not radical; it makes sense that being able to get along with others generally leads to a more satisfying life.
So what if you need to deal with someone who dislikes you? Or who seems to have a nasty grudge against the whole world? Can you think of anyone like that? Someone who’s cranky, uncooperative, or just plain hard to get along with? What do you do? Continue reading
Alice is fuming, but you’d never know it. She’s choosing to keep her frustrations hidden, and having chosen this “internal fuming” behaviour throughout her life, she’s mastered the skill. No one would know.
We choose certain behaviours because they seem like a good idea at the time. For Alice, this internal fuming behaviour has worked well for her during past situations. When we have a behaviour that’s worked well, we have a tendency to choose it again and again. Continue reading
“What do you do?” It’s a simple conversation starter. When you’re introduced, it’s natural to ask about occupations.
However, if you’re unemployed and feeling uncertain about your place in the working world, you might perceive, “What do you do?” as more of an attack than an innocent inquiry. Or perhaps you’ve never worked outside of the home, and “what you do” is a sensitive issue for you. Continue reading
Do you want to get along with others? With all kinds of people in the world, each with our different beliefs and values, it’s impossible to agree with everyone. Sometimes those disagreements are minor, while others cut to the very core of what we care about.
If all you want is to get along, then it may be helpful to avoid discussing politics, religion, or anything of substance and stick to the weather, on which we can (mostly) agree. But where is the fun in that? Continue reading
