Author Archives: RealityCheck

Reality Check: Here’s to a Satisfying Holiday

Posted on November 30, 2014 by RealityCheck

For some folks, the prospect of holidays and the expectations that come with them can evoke feelings that are closer to dread than joy. And if our perception is that others effortlessly produce perfect food, gifts, and parties while surrounded … Continue reading →

Posted in Perception & Reality | Tagged "should", examining wants, need satisfaction, perception | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Reaction Rut

Posted on November 23, 2014 by RealityCheck

If you’ve ever stubbed your toe, then you’re familiar with quick physical reactions. “Ouch!” (or other words) are almost instant responses to pain; no thought required. Physical pain isn’t the only type of pain though, is it? In choice theory, … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged choosing thoughts, perception, self-evaluation | Comments Off

Reality Check: Boundaries and Disputes

Posted on November 16, 2014 by RealityCheck

Boundaries can create cause for dispute. Sometimes, however, setting a boundary can be an effective way to diffuse a dispute. Emma has endured criticism from her mother all her life. In her youthful rush to get married and away from … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged confidence, improving relationships, internal & external control | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Satisfaction of Small Steps

Posted on November 9, 2014 by RealityCheck

Ups and downs are a part of life. When life goes well, activities tend to fall in to place; you know what you need and want to do. It’s during those down times that it can be difficult to figure … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged choosing actions, confidence, discouragement | Comments Off

Reality Check: Lots on your Plate?

Posted on November 2, 2014 by RealityCheck

Busy, busy, busy. Ask most anyone how they are doing and you’ll often hear, “I’m so busy!” What are some potential consequences of that busy-ness? Harriet cares for a very sick child, looks after an elderly aunt, and has a … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged guilt, improving relationships, perception | Comments Off

Reality Check: Power in Retirement

Posted on October 26, 2014 by RealityCheck

Among other needs, Dr. Wm. Glasser asserts that we all have a basic need for power. Before you get too excited and protest that you have no such need, let’s explore what that power need might look like. If you … Continue reading →

Posted in Power | Tagged basic needs, examining options, examining wants | Comments Off

Reality Check: More Retirement Planning

Posted on October 19, 2014 by RealityCheck

Whether you are looking forward to retirement with delight or trepidation, planning can help. While financial planning can help satisfy your need for survival, it’s also important to consider other needs. Last column, I suggested finding ways to satisfy your … Continue reading →

Posted in Fun | Tagged "should", freedom, fun, making choices | Comments Off

Reality Check: Retirement Planning

Posted on October 12, 2014 by RealityCheck

Retirement planning is often associated with money. You already know that money isn’t everything, so let’s try looking at retirement planning from a choice theory perspective. According to choice theory, we all have a set of basic needs: survival, love … Continue reading →

Posted in Love & Belonging | Tagged examining options, examining wants, happiness | Comments Off

Reality Check: More Encouragement

Posted on October 5, 2014 by RealityCheck

Last post, I suggested that honesty is an important characteristic of effective encouragement. When offering encouragement, ask yourself, “Do I believe the encouraging words I am about to say, or are they just “feel-good” words and wishful thinking?” If your … Continue reading →

Posted in Helping Others | Tagged discouragement, improving relationships, offering information | Comments Off

Reality Check: An Encouraging Word