Author Archives: RealityCheck

Reality Check: Our label makers

Posted on December 2, 2012 by RealityCheck

Putting labels on things can be a very effective organizational activity. Whether you are looking for the cookies or the Robertson head screws, it will be easier to find them if the containers are labeled. Labeling can be a great … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Our label makers

Reality Check: Turning Work from Torment to Tolerable

Posted on November 25, 2012 by RealityCheck

When asked about her work, Billie used to say, “Every day is torment, pure and simple.” But not anymore. What changed? As Billie puts it, “I had a little conversation with myself.” So, what was the problem? And how did … Continue reading →

Posted in Workplace | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Turning Work from Torment to Tolerable

Reality Check: For Real?

Posted on November 18, 2012 by RealityCheck

There’s a thought-provoking TV commercial where a beautiful young woman expresses, “I believe the earth is our future; our children’s future.” The love-struck young fella across the table agrees, “We are so the same! For real!” What a coincidence! What … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: For Real?

Reality Check: Shaking Off External Control

Posted on November 10, 2012 by RealityCheck

Last column, I described a mother-daughter conflict where mom, Sandy, tried to compel her daughter Chloe to study in a specific way. Sandy is convinced that she knows what’s best for Chloe. Now, let’s look at the situation from Chloe’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal Freedom | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Shaking Off External Control

Reality Check: Ease off External Control

Posted on November 4, 2012 by RealityCheck

The Reality Therapy approach emphasizes that when we use external control, unhappy relationships are the likely result. What is external control, exactly? In “Take Charge of Your Life,” Dr. Glasser says, “In a relationship, it is a belief that what … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal Freedom | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Ease off External Control

Reality Check: Windfall, Blessing or Burden?

Posted on October 28, 2012 by RealityCheck

Sophia has always wanted to be wealthy. Acquaintances might think that she had a comfortable life, but in Sophia’s mind, money was a constant challenge. She was certain that her life and her outlook would be completely different, if only … Continue reading →

Posted in Perception & Reality | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Windfall, Blessing or Burden?

Reality Check: Manipulation and Consequences

Posted on October 21, 2012 by RealityCheck

You’ve heard of manipulators, haven’t you? Perhaps you’ve even been the “victim” of a manipulator (or perceive yourself that way.) It can seem as if manipulative people manage to get what they want, and it’s always at someone else’s expense. … Continue reading →

Posted in How it is sometimes | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Manipulation and Consequences

Reality Check: What’s fair in love and chores?

Posted on October 14, 2012 by RealityCheck

A recent study by a Norwegian researcher generated headlines with its conclusion that couples who share housework equally are more likely to divorce than couples where women do most of the household chores. Almost simultaneously, a British study concluded that … Continue reading →

Posted in Marriage | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: What’s fair in love and chores?

Reality Check: Optimism or Pessimism: Can you choose?

Posted on October 7, 2012 by RealityCheck

If pessimism has a hold on you, the idea that you can choose optimism instead won’t sound very realistic. What is optimism, anyway? Reality therapy says that behaviour has four aspects: thinking, feeling, action, and physiological effects. You can “feel … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Optimism or Pessimism: Can you choose?

Reality Check: To be belittled, or not to be…

Posted on September 30, 2012 by RealityCheck

When Sonja met Harry, she found a man who seemed almost too good to be true. Kind and generous, Harry was genuinely concerned about Sonja’s welfare. And unlike Sonja’s previous relationship, Harry demanded no changes on her part. In this … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: To be belittled, or not to be…