Category Archives: Control and Choice

Reality Check: What would you choose?

A story told by Dr. Glasser in Choice Theory describes a mother-daughter relationship that had once been good but has now turned sour. Mom works all day. She comes home; her teenage daughter is lazing around watching TV. The kitchen … Continue reading

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Reality Check: Guilt, Conscience, and Manipulation

Many people are guided by conscience when they choose their actions. Conscience can motivate us to reach out and offer support, which can be relationship building and benefit both the giver and the receiver. Support can take many forms: emotional, … Continue reading

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Reality Check: The Battle for your Beliefs

Attempts to influence and persuade us are everywhere. Advertisements are essentially attempts to influence: Buy this product! Donate to this cause! Believe these beliefs! Personalized ads and information are particularly persuasive. For example, if I can make my company’s ad … Continue reading

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Reality Check: Experiments in Liking

Do you remember when liking referred to having an affectionate feeling toward someone? Now, for many, “liking” means clicking a mouse on a little thumbs-up sign. Either way, liking indicates a positive emotional response. It’s a sign of approval, support, … Continue reading

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Reality Check: To be Deliberate

It’s probably the influence of advertising, but the word “mindfulness” for me conjures up the image of a lovely woman in a yoga pose. Waterfalls, peace, and harmony abound. Being mindful—paying attention to the present moment—is a really helpful practice. … Continue reading

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Reality Check: Unintended Effects

When we interact with people, we have control over how we behave. We can choose our actions, our thoughts, perceptions, and to some degree, even our feelings. What we can’t control is what others do. Smiling at a stranger doesn’t … Continue reading

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Reality Check: There will always be an Irma

Are there people in your life who bug you? Treat you badly? Is this the story of your life? Sweet little Mary was picked on throughout her first year of school. Her nemesis was Irma, a big girl in a … Continue reading

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Reality Check: Sidestep your Traps

Why do I keep doing that? I should know better by now! That’s the way Sophie beats herself up after conversations with her mother. Why, indeed? The relationship with her mom was never great. Sophie is warm and outgoing, whereas … Continue reading

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Reality Check: Knowing who your friends are

How do you know who your friends are? If you’re a well-seasoned adult, your response may be quite different from that of someone younger. Experience does bring wisdom. If you pay attention to it, that is. I know that I’m … Continue reading

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Reality Check: Is It Just Too Much?

Self-evaluation is the process of examining what we are doing and determining whether we’re moving in the direction we want. It can be helpful in many situations. Take Bruce, who works long and hard at work and in life. He’s … Continue reading

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