Tag Archives: “should”

Reality Check: Friendly Support

Posted on May 24, 2015 by RealityCheck

“You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family!” As we can, indeed, choose our friends, it makes sense that friendship would be supportive, encouraging, and helpful for both people. But that’s not always the case. Some friend … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged "should", improving relationships, offering information | Comments Off

Reality Check: To Choose or Not to Choose?

Posted on April 26, 2015 by RealityCheck

In recent public service ads, a teenager says something like, “My parents didn’t tell me that driving while high was a bad idea, so it must be ok.” One logical response is, “If your parents didn’t tell you it’s a … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged "should", guilt, making choices, offering information | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Give and Take of Communication

Posted on April 12, 2015 by RealityCheck

There are so many communication pitfalls that it’s amazing that we can communicate at all! It’s not that we can’t make ourselves heard, rather, it’s the understanding /being understood part that’s so problematic. Rebecca has a hard time communicating with … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged "should", blame, improving relationships, perception | Comments Off

Reality Check: When Positive Thinking Meets External Control

Posted on March 1, 2015 by RealityCheck

Last post, I suggested that positive thinking can be helpful, but with a caveat—to be effective, it needs to be paired with positive action. So, if positive thinking is good, then shouldn’t everybody get on board? You know, “Turn that … Continue reading →

Posted in Helping Others | Tagged "should", choosing thoughts, offering information | Comments Off

Reality Check: “Should” versus “Could”

Posted on January 11, 2015 by RealityCheck

One little word sometimes makes a world of difference, doesn’t it? Some are obvious contrasts: “I love you” versus “I hate you;” or “I don’t care” versus “I do care.” However, other small changes are not so obvious, yet have … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged "should", criticism, guilt, self-evaluation | Comments Off

Reality Check: Here’s to a Satisfying Holiday

Posted on November 30, 2014 by RealityCheck

For some folks, the prospect of holidays and the expectations that come with them can evoke feelings that are closer to dread than joy. And if our perception is that others effortlessly produce perfect food, gifts, and parties while surrounded … Continue reading →

Posted in Perception & Reality | Tagged "should", examining wants, need satisfaction, perception | Comments Off

Reality Check: More Retirement Planning

Posted on October 19, 2014 by RealityCheck

Whether you are looking forward to retirement with delight or trepidation, planning can help. While financial planning can help satisfy your need for survival, it’s also important to consider other needs. Last column, I suggested finding ways to satisfy your … Continue reading →

Posted in Fun | Tagged "should", freedom, fun, making choices | Comments Off

Reality Check: Fluffy, Revisited

Posted on August 31, 2014 by RealityCheck

A few posts ago, I presented this classic quandary: Is it appropriate to deceive someone if you believe the deception is kinder than the truth? Here’s the scenario: Maria’s beloved cat, Fluffy, went missing. Maria responded to the reality of … Continue reading →

Posted in Helping Others | Tagged "should", improving relationships, making choices | Comments Off

Reality Check: Truth or Kindness?

Posted on August 3, 2014 by RealityCheck

Here’s a quandary for you. Martin and Maria are happily married and devoted to each other. Maria has a cat, Fluffy. Fluffy was Maria’s mother’s companion, and since Maria’s mom passed away, Fluffy has become even more precious to Maria. … Continue reading →

Posted in Helping Others | Tagged "should", examining options, improving relationships | Comments Off

Reality Check: Remembering the “Why” of To-do

Posted on July 13, 2014 by RealityCheck

It’s a beautiful day. You, however, have to go to work. And mow the lawn. And take the kids to practice, the cat to the vet, and visit the in-laws. Does it seem that your to-do list goes on and … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged "should", examining wants, happiness | Comments Off