Reality Check: Random Acts at Home

Posted on July 2, 2017 by RealityCheck

Random acts of kindness for strangers have been popular for years now. When we do something kind, the likely result is that we feel good and satisfied. We get to perceive ourselves as being a kind and caring person, and that’s a very pleasant feeling.

When we are the recipient of kindness, we also tend to feel good, satisfied, and to perceive that kindness as an indication that we are cared for.

Kind acts result in all-around pleasantness. When the act is random and completely unexpected, the positive effect seems even greater. That stranger who buys your coffee doesn’t owe you anything; they are presumably doing it simply because they want to help you have a great day. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: I Could Write Myself a Letter

Posted on June 25, 2017 by RealityCheck

If I were going to sit right down and write myself a letter…what would I say?

More importantly, if you were to write yourself a letter, what would you say?

When you find yourself troubled by a question that won’t let go, writing can help you gain perspective. Choosing an action, such as writing, can help you gain more effective control of your thoughts and your feelings. Added bonus: you might even come up with an answer to the upsetting question.

What questions might benefit from a little letter-writing therapy? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Bad News Bearers

Posted on June 18, 2017 by RealityCheck

“I know you don’t want to hear this but I have to tell you anyway.”

Do you ever say (or think) that? You believe that you need to inform somebody of something unpleasant, and they’re not going to like it.

Your recipient doesn’t want to hear it. They’ll be unhappy. They may even choose to take their displeasure out on you—the messenger! All the while, you are just trying to be responsible.

Being the bearer of bad news can be tough. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: What’s your predisposition?

Posted on June 11, 2017 by RealityCheck

“Sally said my hair looked nice today. Can you believe that!”

Did Sally pay me a compliment? Or was that a subtle insult, implying that she noticed an improvement over those many non-nice hair days? Was Sally being sarcastic? Or was she perhaps envious, wishing she’d have hair like this someday?

When reading—without body language, expression, and tone to help us understand our communication—it’s hard to make a valid assessment. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Does the News Hurt Your Relationships?

Posted on June 4, 2017 by RealityCheck

There’s almost always an election in season somewhere.

A survey asked whether an election has negatively affected a personal relationship with a friend or family member. It wasn’t about a Canadian election. No matter; it’s still an interesting question that leads me to ask, how does news and information affect your relationships? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Is It Just Too Much?

Posted on May 28, 2017 by RealityCheck

Self-evaluation is the process of examining what we are doing and determining whether we’re moving in the direction we want. It can be helpful in many situations.

Take Bruce, who works long and hard at work and in life. He’s actively involved with his children’s activities. He wants to be a good husband and does all he can in the household. He feels responsibility for his parents and in-laws. Lots of demands pull him in different directions.

On top of this already full life, Bruce chose to enhance his career by taking a course. What’s one more thing? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Tired and Cranky, Anyone?

Posted on May 21, 2017 by RealityCheck

By the time I’d finished reading an article promoting an approach to education that I don’t happen to agree with, I felt tired and a tad cranky. I was fine before I started reading. So, what happened?

When it comes to understanding human behaviour, one of the most practical contributions of choice theory is its “behavioural car” metaphor. It’s simple, understandable, and can help us ordinary folks get a handle on how our feelings, actions and so on interact. Even better, we can use that information to take more effective control of our lives.

Here’s the idea: Just as a car has four wheels, our behaviour has four components: acting, thinking, feeling, and physiology.

And while a car travels as a unit, it’s the front wheels that determine where it’s going; the rear wheels just follow along behind. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Meltdown

Posted on May 14, 2017 by RealityCheck

A thousand miles away, my usually sunny friend—she who chooses the most positive possible interpretation of everything—had a meltdown.

It’s understandable. She’s been living with the reality of several family members diagnosed with cancers. Then, her mom took a tumble and broke a bone.

Pulled every which way and unable to do everything that needs to be done, we can feel like we’ve completely lost control. Thus, the meltdown.

And although “meltdown” is associated with women, such reactions are not confined to us sweet, delicate flowers. Reactions may be different, even when emotions are similar. What happens? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The two sides of protection

Posted on May 7, 2017 by RealityCheck

Could anyone possibly be against something named “Safe Food for Canadians”?

The recent discussion around potentially negative impacts of new food safety regulations on small food producers is a good reminder that just because something has an appealing name doesn’t mean it’s truly appealing.

Regulations, in fact—choices of any kind—seldom come without tradeoffs. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: It wasn’t what I expected

Posted on April 30, 2017 by RealityCheck

The other day, I was giving a presentation in an unfamiliar room using an unfamiliar computer. For some reason, my presentation wasn’t working quite right. While it looked more or less the way it should, the system wasn’t responding as I expected; my usual shortcuts weren’t working; things just weren’t right.

I fiddled and fussed a bit, but carried on.

During the break, one of my fine young participants gently took me aside and pointed out that I wasn’t using the software than I normally use.

Huh! Suddenly it made sense. With a few adjustments, everything was back to normal. Continue reading →

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