Reality Check: Perspectives on Apologies

Posted on September 8, 2013 by RealityCheck

Have you ever said or done something thoughtless that ended up hurting somebody you care deeply about? If so, join the club! Whether it was a massive error or a minor blunder, we’re human and are known to make mistakes. But after the deed is done, then what? We can take action only in the present, and as much as we might want to undo what we did, we can’t.

Apologizing can sometimes help make things better for both of you. While it may be satisfying for the person you have wronged to receive your apology, it may be even more satisfying for you to offer it. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Creating a Positive Feedback Loop

Posted on September 1, 2013 by RealityCheck

Like many of you during this wonderful time of the year, I’ve been getting plenty of opportunities to sit around watching other people work. Of course, I’m talking about being stuck in road construction lineups!

One can choose to be frustrated by construction delays, or one can choose a different response. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Before Putting Mouth in Gear…

Posted on August 25, 2013 by RealityCheck

A long time ago, in a workplace far away, there was a poster taped above my workbench. It read, “Engage brain before putting mouth in gear.” I choose to believe that the poster wasn’t put there specifically for me, by the way.

Can we control when we “put our mouths in gear,” so to speak? If you read my columns regularly, then you know that choice theory says we can only control our own behaviour, not that of others. But can we even control our own behaviour? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Safety at Work

Posted on August 18, 2013 by RealityCheck

Last post, I suggested that one of the “wants” identified by the Laasers in their book, “The Seven Desires of Every Heart” applies to the workplace. That’s the desire each of us has to be heard and understood.

Another of the desires identified by the Laasers also has a place in the workplace—the desire to be safe. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: You want what at work?

Posted on August 12, 2013 by RealityCheck

Some folks view work as a way to find fulfillment and purpose in life. Perhaps your view is less lofty; you may see work as just a way to put food on the table. Either way, a quality-minded employer will want to keep you motivated and keep your work at the forefront of your mind.

A recent article in Quality Progress magazine connected workplace motivation to the “seven desires of every heart” as identified by Mark and Debra Laaser. They describe these desires as universal; everyone has them regardless of age, race, gender…

In choice theory, Dr. Wm. Glasser identifies five basic needs, also considered universal. The themes in Laaser’s seven desires are consistent with Glasser’s five needs.

If you are struggling at work or wondering about life’s purpose, examining these desires/needs might help you figure out what it’s all about! Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Jimmy meets Mrs. Crabapple

Posted on July 28, 2013 by RealityCheck

Ever since he was little, Jimmy wanted to be a pilot. Now, he’s finally ready for that first step on the road to realizing his dream. It’s time to go to ground school.

Jimmy’s never been academically inclined. High school was just a place to hang out with friends, meet girls, and socialize. Learning was irrelevant, as far as he could tell.

With ground school on the horizon, Jimmy started looking at what he’d need to learn. Shockingly, it turns out that you need do calculations, such as figuring out how much fuel to put in your plane! This assumes he understands subjects he never thought he’d see in real life, like math. Who knew? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: A little respect, please

Posted on July 22, 2013 by RealityCheck

To strengthen relationships and build satisfying lives, choice theory promotes seven caring habits, including the habit of respect. What’s the impact of respect in a relationship?

Henry was forced to retire from a well-paying, satisfying career where he had enjoyed good relationships and respect from his colleagues. His many years of marriage to Sally have also been satisfying. Granted, between the children, the demands of Henry’s job, and Sally’s activities, there hadn’t been a lot of “together” time. 

Henry recognized that sitting in the window watching the traffic go by would not be a satisfying retirement for him. He needed an activity to focus on. Always up for a challenge, he decided to try something completely different—watercolour painting. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Archie, Meathead, and External Control

Posted on July 16, 2013 by RealityCheck

If you recognize the title of this column from “All in the Family,” then either you remember the 70s or you have been watching TV reruns! Regardless of whether you loved it or hated it, that TV sitcom has become a part of our culture.

I happened to catch an All in the Family rerun shortly after I had come across the following statement in Dr. Wm. Glasser’s book, “Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage.” Glasser says, “Archie Bunker was the epitome of external control as he repeatedly derided his son-in-law, who was trying to live without it.”

As I watched the interaction between Archie and Mike (aka Meathead) in the episode, I was struck by the observation that there was plenty of external control in action from all parties. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Forge on

Posted on July 4, 2013 by RealityCheck

Have you ever felt that events you can’t control are conspiring against you? If so, you might feel like pulling the covers over your head and crying, “Why me?”

It can be tempting to believe that we have no choice in how we respond, and that’s how Jordan feels right now. From his perspective, his future has been blown to smithereens, and it’s not his fault. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Pattern Making

Posted on June 28, 2013 by RealityCheck

We’re all familiar with habits. We do the same thing over and over; a choice becomes so ingrained that it seems automatic.  For example, I wake up; I drink coffee. No thought involved!

Rick has a habit of buying exercise equipment and then not using it. Over the years, he has purchased gear which ends up gathering dust or getting sold at huge losses. Nothing ever turns out to exactly meet his expectations.

His hope continues, however! The next piece of equipment could be the one that will satisfy Rick’s internal pictures of himself, with a buff body and disciplined character. Continue reading →

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