If you’ve ever had a serious medical issue, then it’s safe to say you have experienced fear. That fear may be about unknowns: How will this turn out? Will I be ok?
When I was catching up with Sara some months ago, she wasn’t her usual self. She looked tired and drained. Turns out that she had developed a painful condition.
Yet Sara’s biggest concern wasn’t her current pain; it was fear of future unknowns. Continue reading
Within my circle of friends and acquaintances, I hear more and more folks say, “I don’t listen to the news anymore.”
Considering that we live in a time when news from all over is readily available, the decision to tune it out completely is an interesting choice.
My choice is different. I seek out news with different points of view. Granted, I have my own biases and opinions, so I tend to believe one side more readily than another. But it’s still interesting to see how various sources take quite different perspectives.
Recently, for example, I noticed interesting differences about hurricane coverage. Continue reading
The mother-daughter conflict story told in Choice Theory by Dr. Glasser that I’ve been referring to has one more interesting dimension that some of us might find troubling.
Briefly, the story goes like this: Mom works all day and is angry that the daughter doesn’t help out in the home. There’s yelling and sulking and unhappiness.
Glasser’s suggestion was for mom to try a short experiment, during which she treats her daughter as if she were a valued customer.
If your definition of a customer is limited to someone who buys things, this may sound ridiculous to you. Of course, the daughter is not a customer in a traditional sense. Continue reading
A story told by Dr. Glasser in Choice Theory describes a mother-daughter relationship that had once been good but has now turned sour.
Mom works all day. She comes home; her teenage daughter is lazing around watching TV. The kitchen is a mess. Mom yells. Daughter sulks. Mom gets headache. No one is happy. We can all understand the emotions.
There will be few pleasantries or shared confidences in a relationship where the interaction starts with mom yelling the moment she’s in the door.
Glasser’s approach is to look at what we can and can’t control. While mom can control what she does, ultimately, she can’t control her daughter’s actions. Continue reading
Do you consider yourself highly motivated? Does your motivation come naturally to you, or do you have to work at it?
For some of us, motivation seems to require an occasional kick in the pants, so to speak, to keep it fresh and inspired. I know that’s not just me either, or there wouldn’t be an over-abundance of motivational speakers, videos, seminars, coaches and books.
Many of those books are on my shelf. Sometimes I even read them. Reading motivational books can be an especially effective technique for avoiding work. So I’m quite familiar with the challenges that come with motivation and the lack thereof.
Among those motivational authors is Dan Pink, who has also created a collection of two-minute videos that he calls pinkcasts. One recent video looks at an approach to motivation through self-talk. Continue reading
Recently I was gifted with a book entitled, “What is this thing called Love?” Written by Dr. Glasser and his wife Carleen, the book has a clear purpose. It’s for women who have been told, “I love you,” but who recognize that the love in the relationship isn’t working somehow.
The story is of a single woman in a relationship with a partner who tells her, “I love you.” But he’s not ready to marry her. Not yet. Maybe later. Almost certainly later. Just not right now.
This leads her to examine the question: What is love? What does it actually mean when we say, “I love you?” Continue reading
Does discouragement have a colour? If so, is it grey? How about discouraging weather? Rain, perhaps?
When discouraged, does it seem like there’s a rainy, grey, discouraged filter over everything?
For example, let’s say we feel happy and in control. The cat throws up on the rug. What do we do? Take it in stride. We love the cat; cleaning up only takes a few seconds. We handle it and move on. No big deal.
But what if we are discouraged? That little pile of unpleasantness can take on a ridiculous importance. It’s one more piece of evidence that the universe is conspiring against us. Just one thing after another, and it’s all bad.
Discouragement is not a joyful state, for you or for the people around you. If we know that we have a tendency to slip into discouragement, what might we do? Continue reading
