We may never know the effect of extending a small kindness. In fact, we could perform a genuinely heroic act and never learn the result. We may not even know whether anyone noticed.
Being helpful and kind is more satisfying if we choose to do it because we know it’s the right thing to do (which is under our control) rather than acting for honours or applause from others (over which we have no control.)
What “helps” are truly helpful? To answer that, it’s useful to examine the kindnesses and help we’ve received from others. Continue reading
The lobster fishery has been a way of life for generations of families along the South Shore. It’s literally put food on lots of tables.
As I don’t come from fishing folk, I wasn’t aware of how the perception of the value of lobster has changed. Lobster hasn’t always been considered a treat; far from it.
Generations ago, apparently it was embarrassing for a kid to bring lobster to school for lunch. A lobster sandwich conveyed the message, “We can’t afford to buy filling for our sandwiches; we have to eat lobster.” Continue reading
Things don’t always go my way. It’s possible that things don’t always go your way, either.
Given that’s the reality, how do we deal with it? What responses are effective when we are faced with the inevitable disappointments, perceived unfairnesses, and general misfortunes that come our way?
How we respond says something about us. Children, at least in some families, demonstrate their unhappiness with crying, stomping and tantrums. Come to think of it, there could be a few adults who demonstrate similar behaviours. Continue reading
At the beginning of the year, Glasser Canada made an offer to its members. If a member provided a couple of New Year’s resolutions appropriate for display on the Glasser website, they would get 10 bucks off their next purchase.
Now, I hate to pass up a bargain, whether I need it or not. So I put some thought into what I might choose for a resolution—something that matters and that I would be truly prepared to follow through. Continue reading
What does encouragement look like?
Think way back and picture the poster of Rosie the Riveter. That’s one picture of encouragement—Rosie’s determined face under the slogan, “We can do it!” with her sleeves rolled up and her muscles flexed.
The goal then was to inspire an entire population to dig deep; to bring all their grit and persistence to contribute to the war effort. That is, to win.
An inspirational poster may be helpful for the mass-marketing of encouragement. But when it comes to smaller-scale encouragement—when you’re just trying to help someone out—what do you actually do? Continue reading
Can we choose to worry? Can we choose not to worry?
If you identify yourself as a worrier, then the idea that you could choose not to worry probably sounds unrealistic. So let’s try this different, but related, question: Can we choose what we worry about?
How might it help to actively choose what we worry about? Because then we could also choose boundaries for our worry topics. Continue reading
Even when you know that what you’re doing isn’t working well for you, it can still be hard to make a change. How about a helpful tip? Here’s one: the “Rather Card.”
How does it work? As it was originally intended for money management/impulse control, you cut out a piece of cardboard about the size of your debit or credit card. Put it in your wallet, in front of your bank card.
What’s on the card? Write the following sentence, filling in the blanks to reflect what’s important to you. Continue reading
It’s probably the influence of advertising, but the word “mindfulness” for me conjures up the image of a lovely woman in a yoga pose. Waterfalls, peace, and harmony abound.
Being mindful—paying attention to the present moment—is a really helpful practice.
But maybe you are like me and have trouble envisioning yourself beside a waterfall wearing yoga pants. So let’s try a different word: “deliberate.”
What does it mean to be deliberate? Continue reading
A tool that is often suggested to help us be happier and more satisfied is the practice of gratitude. You’ve seen it recommended here and probably elsewhere, too.
It is, indeed, well and good to be grateful, count our blessings, and concentrate on what we have rather than what we don’t have.
When you are feeling down, however, it can be difficult to stir up those grateful feelings, even if you know that you’ll feel better if you do. Continue reading
