Reality Check: Mistake-Proofing for Relationships

Posted on January 24, 2016 by RealityCheck

Mistakes happen. When you make a mistake, you probably take some kind of action to try to correct it. But wouldn’t it be great if we could prevent mistakes from happening in the first place?

Businesses that intend to survive over the long-term already know that mistakes are expensive. They can’t afford to make defective products and then have merchandise returned by unhappy customers. It’s costly to issue recalls, send out apologies, not to mention getting sued!

However, humans are fallible, and it’s so easy to make a mistake, isn’t it? Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Mistake-Proofing for Relationships

Reality Check: Persistent or Stubborn?

Posted on January 17, 2016 by RealityCheck

Last time, I wrote about constancy of purpose and the importance of having a long-term view to guide your decisions.

Why is constancy of purpose important? Because few big goals are achieved quickly and easily. If you want to achieve something substantial, persistence helps when that little voice inside you says, “Stop. Give up. Do something easier. Feel good right now. Forget about years down the road.”

Persistence is generally viewed as a positive characteristic. Albert Einstein had it; he’s said to have said, “It’s not that I’m so smart; I just stay with problems longer.”

Now, you’re undoubtedly also aware of the characteristic known as stubbornness. You have certainly seen it displayed by others. Maybe you’ve even exhibited a bit of it yourself. Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Persistent or Stubborn?

Reality Check: Quality for Life

Posted on January 10, 2016 by RealityCheck

My introduction to Dr. Glasser’s work was accidental.
Wherever there are miserable people, Dr. Glasser encouraged learning and using choice theory. He counseled and wrote about relationships, marriage, families, addictions, health, and schools.
There’s also plenty of misery in workplaces. When Glasser turned his attention there, he came across the work of Dr. W. Edwards Deming.
Now, Deming is well known in manufacturing and management circles as a “quality guru.” Much of his work was statistical; for example, he used statistical charts to improve the quality of manufactured goods. However, it was not all about numbers for Deming. Continue reading →

Posted in Workplace | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Quality for Life

Reality Check: Any Given Day

Posted on January 4, 2016 by RealityCheck

For many folks, the New Year triggers self-evaluation. We look back at what went well (or badly) and look forward—perhaps with resolutions—to the year ahead. What will I do differently?

New Year’s resolutions can be effective, but more often than not, enthusiasm fades as we get caught up in our daily lives.

We needn’t wait till next January to try again! Every day is a gift, and any of these given days offers an opportunity to look at our circumstances, and ourselves, with fresh perspective. Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Any Given Day

Reality Check: Presents and Presence

Posted on December 27, 2015 by RealityCheck

How have you spent your December? Indeed, “spent” may be the appropriate word, as folks have been rushing around the malls, the stores, and on-line, shopping for those perfect gifts.

As this traditional season of giving comes to a close, here are a few suggestions for gifts to give ourselves! Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Presents and Presence

Reality Check: Comparison in Action

Posted on December 20, 2015 by RealityCheck

Last time, I suggested that it can be helpful to compare oneself to oneself. This comparison can help you see more clearly whether you are, in fact, making progress toward your goals.

The example I had chosen was that of a young man who felt that he wasn’t getting anywhere. However, when he compared himself to himself 5 years ago, he realized that he is making progress and is on track to achieving what he wants. The comparison ended up being a wonderful, satisfying experience. Renewed and reinvigorated, on he goes!

Great for him, eh?

It may have occurred to you that not everyone will see such a rosy picture. Continue reading →

Posted in Satisfaction | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Comparison in Action

Reality Check: The Comparison that Works

Posted on December 13, 2015 by RealityCheck

If you’ve been reading Reality Check for a while, you know that I suggest not comparing yourself to others. Why? It’s futile, as you can’t control how others are doing.

Further, your comparison may lead you to believe that you are either better off or worse off than someone else. Either has its associated misery. So, I suggest choosing not to compare at all.

However, there is one comparison that can be quite effective—compare yourself with yourself. Consider the person that you were yesterday, last week, a year ago, or a decade ago, and compare that person with who you are now.

How is that helpful? Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: The Comparison that Works

Reality Check: Try a Different Stress Model?

Posted on December 6, 2015 by RealityCheck

Stress. Everybody’s had it. Yet some people seem to manage—or even thrive—in stressful environments, whereas others can barely cope.

There are plenty of possible explanations for these differences: genetics, upbringing, experience, training, and so on. We don’t have control over many of those factors.

However, we can control one factor—how we think about our stress.

For example, let’s say that for whatever reason, your stress level has skyrocketed. There are different “models” you can choose to use as you think about it.

One model is: “My stress level has increased rapidly in a short time. Now I am scared that it will continue to get worse at this rate, and ultimately I will explode! (or break down, or use some other stress-releasing behaviour.)” Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Try a Different Stress Model?

Reality Check: The Impulse to Vent

Posted on November 29, 2015 by RealityCheck

Have you ever felt that frustration has control of you? That you can’t hold back; you have to let it out somehow?

If so, how well has that “letting out” worked for you?

Venting can feel really good at the moment. There’s that delightful release of tension; stress gone! Unfortunately, that moment is often followed by less-delightful moments when you get to experience the long-term consequences of your momentary relief.

When venting happens on-line, the long-term destruction can be much greater than many realize. Too often, in the heat of the moment, folks forget that their angry comments are not just seen by close friends, but also potentially by their bosses, their teachers, their neighbours, even their mothers! Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: The Impulse to Vent

Reality Check: When Your Body Speaks Out

Posted on November 22, 2015 by RealityCheck

Do you listen to your body? If you’ve ever had an aching back from lifting too much, a foggy brain from sleeping too little, or an upset stomach from eating unwisely, you know there are times when the body can’t be ignored.

Occasionally, we even learn from those responses and change our behaviour!

Sometimes, it’s difficult to interpret what our body is telling us. Pam has been offered a job with more money and benefits. The move makes practical sense and her friends and family are encouraging her to take it.

Yet whenever Pam thinks about it, her body protests. Her head aches, her stomach churns, and she just feels drained. Continue reading →

Posted in How it is sometimes | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: When Your Body Speaks Out