Reality Check: Quality for Life

Posted on January 10, 2016 by RealityCheck

My introduction to Dr. Glasser’s work was accidental.
Wherever there are miserable people, Dr. Glasser encouraged learning and using choice theory. He counseled and wrote about relationships, marriage, families, addictions, health, and schools.
There’s also plenty of misery in workplaces. When Glasser turned his attention there, he came across the work of Dr. W. Edwards Deming.
Now, Deming is well known in manufacturing and management circles as a “quality guru.” Much of his work was statistical; for example, he used statistical charts to improve the quality of manufactured goods. However, it was not all about numbers for Deming. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Any Given Day

Posted on January 4, 2016 by RealityCheck

For many folks, the New Year triggers self-evaluation. We look back at what went well (or badly) and look forward—perhaps with resolutions—to the year ahead. What will I do differently?

New Year’s resolutions can be effective, but more often than not, enthusiasm fades as we get caught up in our daily lives.

We needn’t wait till next January to try again! Every day is a gift, and any of these given days offers an opportunity to look at our circumstances, and ourselves, with fresh perspective. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Presents and Presence

Posted on December 27, 2015 by RealityCheck

How have you spent your December? Indeed, “spent” may be the appropriate word, as folks have been rushing around the malls, the stores, and on-line, shopping for those perfect gifts.

As this traditional season of giving comes to a close, here are a few suggestions for gifts to give ourselves! Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Comparison in Action

Posted on December 20, 2015 by RealityCheck

Last time, I suggested that it can be helpful to compare oneself to oneself. This comparison can help you see more clearly whether you are, in fact, making progress toward your goals.

The example I had chosen was that of a young man who felt that he wasn’t getting anywhere. However, when he compared himself to himself 5 years ago, he realized that he is making progress and is on track to achieving what he wants. The comparison ended up being a wonderful, satisfying experience. Renewed and reinvigorated, on he goes!

Great for him, eh?

It may have occurred to you that not everyone will see such a rosy picture. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Comparison that Works

Posted on December 13, 2015 by RealityCheck

If you’ve been reading Reality Check for a while, you know that I suggest not comparing yourself to others. Why? It’s futile, as you can’t control how others are doing.

Further, your comparison may lead you to believe that you are either better off or worse off than someone else. Either has its associated misery. So, I suggest choosing not to compare at all.

However, there is one comparison that can be quite effective—compare yourself with yourself. Consider the person that you were yesterday, last week, a year ago, or a decade ago, and compare that person with who you are now.

How is that helpful? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Try a Different Stress Model?

Posted on December 6, 2015 by RealityCheck

Stress. Everybody’s had it. Yet some people seem to manage—or even thrive—in stressful environments, whereas others can barely cope.

There are plenty of possible explanations for these differences: genetics, upbringing, experience, training, and so on. We don’t have control over many of those factors.

However, we can control one factor—how we think about our stress.

For example, let’s say that for whatever reason, your stress level has skyrocketed. There are different “models” you can choose to use as you think about it.

One model is: “My stress level has increased rapidly in a short time. Now I am scared that it will continue to get worse at this rate, and ultimately I will explode! (or break down, or use some other stress-releasing behaviour.)” Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Impulse to Vent

Posted on November 29, 2015 by RealityCheck

Have you ever felt that frustration has control of you? That you can’t hold back; you have to let it out somehow?

If so, how well has that “letting out” worked for you?

Venting can feel really good at the moment. There’s that delightful release of tension; stress gone! Unfortunately, that moment is often followed by less-delightful moments when you get to experience the long-term consequences of your momentary relief.

When venting happens on-line, the long-term destruction can be much greater than many realize. Too often, in the heat of the moment, folks forget that their angry comments are not just seen by close friends, but also potentially by their bosses, their teachers, their neighbours, even their mothers! Continue reading →

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Reality Check: When Your Body Speaks Out

Posted on November 22, 2015 by RealityCheck

Do you listen to your body? If you’ve ever had an aching back from lifting too much, a foggy brain from sleeping too little, or an upset stomach from eating unwisely, you know there are times when the body can’t be ignored.

Occasionally, we even learn from those responses and change our behaviour!

Sometimes, it’s difficult to interpret what our body is telling us. Pam has been offered a job with more money and benefits. The move makes practical sense and her friends and family are encouraging her to take it.

Yet whenever Pam thinks about it, her body protests. Her head aches, her stomach churns, and she just feels drained. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Ups and Downs of Perception

Posted on November 15, 2015 by RealityCheck

Do you make your decisions and choose your actions based on facts and evidence? While it’s a worthwhile aspiration, it is easier said than done because along with those objective facts, we also have our perceptions.

What we perceive about ourselves and others can have a huge impact on our happiness, our success, and how we choose to interact.

Diane is happy and excited in her new job, where she is being told that she is a quick learner and is meeting or even exceeding all expectations. Through that positive feedback, Diane perceives that she is accepted, appreciated, and making great progress.

Then one day at a local restaurant, Diane heard what she thought was her name mentioned in a conversation in a nearby booth. It sounded like a couple of her coworkers, giggling and whispering. Even though she knows better, Diane strained her ears to eavesdrop. What did she hear? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Feeling Unappreciated?

Posted on November 8, 2015 by RealityCheck

Have you ever felt as if you give and give and give, yet receive little appreciation in return?

Neighbours Sara and Michelle are different: Michelle gregarious and fun-loving, Sara introspective and serious. Despite their differences, they are content as neighbours, exchanging pleasantries and helping out with small chores.

Then Michelle experienced a tragedy in her life. Despite her numerous superficial friends, for all practical purposes, Michelle was suddenly alone.

Sara knew how she would feel in that situation and stepped in to help.

As Michelle went through her crisis, Sara was with her every step of the way. She brought food, ran errands, and helped Michelle through a maze of complicated issues. Continue reading →

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