Reality Check: Thank you; I accept your offer

Posted on February 7, 2016 by RealityCheck

Do you find it hard to accept gifts? If you fret about what other people think about you, accepting can be difficult.

Gillian has money woes. She lost financial ground after a job loss and went into debt. Although she’s working now, her usual feeling of control has been replaced with vulnerability and insecurity. She feels she can’t relax until she digs herself out of this hole.

Millie sees the strain on Gillian and wants to help. She’d like to take Gillian out for a pampering day: manicure, dinner, movie; the works. She hopes it would lift Gillian’s spirits; help her see the bigger picture and know that she will be OK. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Lean for Life

Posted on January 31, 2016 by RealityCheck

You may choose to be pleasantly surprised when you see that the “lean” in this column has nothing to do with dieting!

Rather, this “lean” refers to lean manufacturing, and it’s been around for decades. The goal is to reduce waste of all kinds. This is so important to industry, because when a company produces a defective product, there’s wasted materials, labour, packaging, and shipping, not to mention the waste of customer goodwill!

Waste reduction gets plenty of attention in our lives too, where it’s usually focused on reducing the amount of stuff that ends up in landfills. However, reducing waste from a lean perspective is a lot broader than just reducing the number of garbage bags at the curb. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Mistake-Proofing for Relationships

Posted on January 24, 2016 by RealityCheck

Mistakes happen. When you make a mistake, you probably take some kind of action to try to correct it. But wouldn’t it be great if we could prevent mistakes from happening in the first place?

Businesses that intend to survive over the long-term already know that mistakes are expensive. They can’t afford to make defective products and then have merchandise returned by unhappy customers. It’s costly to issue recalls, send out apologies, not to mention getting sued!

However, humans are fallible, and it’s so easy to make a mistake, isn’t it? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Persistent or Stubborn?

Posted on January 17, 2016 by RealityCheck

Last time, I wrote about constancy of purpose and the importance of having a long-term view to guide your decisions.

Why is constancy of purpose important? Because few big goals are achieved quickly and easily. If you want to achieve something substantial, persistence helps when that little voice inside you says, “Stop. Give up. Do something easier. Feel good right now. Forget about years down the road.”

Persistence is generally viewed as a positive characteristic. Albert Einstein had it; he’s said to have said, “It’s not that I’m so smart; I just stay with problems longer.”

Now, you’re undoubtedly also aware of the characteristic known as stubbornness. You have certainly seen it displayed by others. Maybe you’ve even exhibited a bit of it yourself. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Quality for Life

Posted on January 10, 2016 by RealityCheck

My introduction to Dr. Glasser’s work was accidental.
Wherever there are miserable people, Dr. Glasser encouraged learning and using choice theory. He counseled and wrote about relationships, marriage, families, addictions, health, and schools.
There’s also plenty of misery in workplaces. When Glasser turned his attention there, he came across the work of Dr. W. Edwards Deming.
Now, Deming is well known in manufacturing and management circles as a “quality guru.” Much of his work was statistical; for example, he used statistical charts to improve the quality of manufactured goods. However, it was not all about numbers for Deming. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Any Given Day

Posted on January 4, 2016 by RealityCheck

For many folks, the New Year triggers self-evaluation. We look back at what went well (or badly) and look forward—perhaps with resolutions—to the year ahead. What will I do differently?

New Year’s resolutions can be effective, but more often than not, enthusiasm fades as we get caught up in our daily lives.

We needn’t wait till next January to try again! Every day is a gift, and any of these given days offers an opportunity to look at our circumstances, and ourselves, with fresh perspective. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Presents and Presence

Posted on December 27, 2015 by RealityCheck

How have you spent your December? Indeed, “spent” may be the appropriate word, as folks have been rushing around the malls, the stores, and on-line, shopping for those perfect gifts.

As this traditional season of giving comes to a close, here are a few suggestions for gifts to give ourselves! Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Comparison in Action

Posted on December 20, 2015 by RealityCheck

Last time, I suggested that it can be helpful to compare oneself to oneself. This comparison can help you see more clearly whether you are, in fact, making progress toward your goals.

The example I had chosen was that of a young man who felt that he wasn’t getting anywhere. However, when he compared himself to himself 5 years ago, he realized that he is making progress and is on track to achieving what he wants. The comparison ended up being a wonderful, satisfying experience. Renewed and reinvigorated, on he goes!

Great for him, eh?

It may have occurred to you that not everyone will see such a rosy picture. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Comparison that Works

Posted on December 13, 2015 by RealityCheck

If you’ve been reading Reality Check for a while, you know that I suggest not comparing yourself to others. Why? It’s futile, as you can’t control how others are doing.

Further, your comparison may lead you to believe that you are either better off or worse off than someone else. Either has its associated misery. So, I suggest choosing not to compare at all.

However, there is one comparison that can be quite effective—compare yourself with yourself. Consider the person that you were yesterday, last week, a year ago, or a decade ago, and compare that person with who you are now.

How is that helpful? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Try a Different Stress Model?

Posted on December 6, 2015 by RealityCheck

Stress. Everybody’s had it. Yet some people seem to manage—or even thrive—in stressful environments, whereas others can barely cope.

There are plenty of possible explanations for these differences: genetics, upbringing, experience, training, and so on. We don’t have control over many of those factors.

However, we can control one factor—how we think about our stress.

For example, let’s say that for whatever reason, your stress level has skyrocketed. There are different “models” you can choose to use as you think about it.

One model is: “My stress level has increased rapidly in a short time. Now I am scared that it will continue to get worse at this rate, and ultimately I will explode! (or break down, or use some other stress-releasing behaviour.)” Continue reading →

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