Category Archives: How it is sometimes

Reality Check: What do you do?

“What do you do?” It’s a simple conversation starter. When you’re introduced, it’s natural to ask about occupations. However, if you’re unemployed and feeling uncertain about your place in the working world, you might perceive, “What do you do?” as … Continue reading

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Reality Check: Manipulation and Consequences

You’ve heard of manipulators, haven’t you? Perhaps you’ve even been the “victim” of a manipulator (or perceive yourself that way.) It can seem as if manipulative people manage to get what they want, and it’s always at someone else’s expense. … Continue reading

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Reality Check: “Constructive” Criticism; Is it a Con?

People often try to be helpful, though it might not seem that way when you’re on the receiving end of their helpfulness. For example, think about how you would feel if you were told, “You seem awfully cranky. You should … Continue reading

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Wherever you go, there you are

We all need others to some degree. In reality therapy, that’s referred to as the need for love and belonging. Our lives are more satisfying when we can spend time with people we care about. However, there are benefits to … Continue reading

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Are you guilt-ing?

A benefit of applying choice theory/reality therapy in your life is that you can gain personal freedom—the freedom that comes with understanding what you can and cannot control. In previous columns, we’ve looked at situations where people attempt to coerce … Continue reading

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Ask guilty feelings these three questions

When a guilty feeling pops up in your life, you know that it’s seldom accompanied by delight or satisfaction. It’s more likely that guilt brings with it unhappiness, resentment, perhaps even anger. If you don’t enjoy letting those feelings have … Continue reading

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Guilty? Or Not Guilty?

Internal motivation is a foundation of choice theory/reality therapy. The idea is that our actions—the behaviours we choose—aren’t forced on us, but are the result of choices made in our own brains. Because reality therapy views behaviour as not only … Continue reading

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Why? or What Now?

Do you ask people for excuses? That is, do you ever say, “Please make up an excuse for why you acted in that insensitive, thoughtless, or awful manner”? Probably not! After all, an excuse isn’t

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