Reality Check

Reality Check: Strategies for Choice

Posted on May 25, 2019 by RealityCheck

Previously, I discussed a theory popularized by Barry Schwartz in, “The Paradox of Choice” that there are two choice-making approaches. Some people are maximizers; intent on making the absolute best choices they possibly can. Others are satisficers, who stop looking after they’ve found a choice that fits their criteria.
In this world of seemingly unlimited choices, satisficers have an easier time. They’re not so troubled by the fact that there are many options or whether they’ve made the perfect choice. They make a choice that works for them; stop looking and move on. Continue reading →

Posted in Control and Choice | Tagged "should", examining wants, making choices, worry | Comments Off

Reality Check: Do your choices satisfy you?

Posted on May 19, 2019 by RealityCheck

We make many choices—some consequential; others trivial. Does your choice-making process satisfy you? Or aggravate you? Or does it depend on the choice?
Barry Schwartz needed a pair of jeans. In the big scheme of things, picking out jeans isn’t a hugely consequential decision. But in his book, “The Paradox of Choice,” this shopping experience demonstrates the difficulties that even small choices can create for some people.
Schwartz walked into the store thinking he just wanted “jeans.” He didn’t realize that jeans come in a mind-boggling array of styles, fits, and finishes. Continue reading →

Posted in Control and Choice | Tagged anxiety, examining options, making choices, need satisfaction, worry | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Joy of Ownership

Posted on May 12, 2019 by RealityCheck

The other day, while I was picking up trash by the roadside, I pondered the things that one tends to ponder while picking up trash by the roadside. For example, I pondered, “Why would anyone throw their trash on the side of the road?”
While it’s easy to believe, “People just don’t care,” a more in-depth inquiry might ask, “Why don’t they care?”
One possible answer that I thought of is perhaps some folks don’t have a sense of ownership. They don’t believe that the roadside belongs to them, and therefore take no pride in whether it’s tidy, trashy, or otherwise. “It’s not mine, so I don’t care,” may be the thought process.
When you don’t have any sense of ownership, you may also have no sense of accountability. What do you think of that as an explanation for some behaviours?
Now, how about applying the same rationale to feelings? Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged confidence, happiness, helpful, perception | Comments Off

Reality Check: Both Sides True

Posted on May 5, 2019 by RealityCheck

When we have a disagreement, whether with an individual or a whole group of people, it’s common to think uncharitable thoughts about those on the other side.
After all, it goes without saying that we are correct on the issue. We’ve examined facts, or we’ve listened to people we trust, or we just have a gut feeling that we know the way things ought to be. We know that we are right.
And if we are right, if the facts/opinions/feelings are abundantly clear to us, then how can others not see things as we do? Are they willfully blind? Just not very smart? Or genuinely evil? Continue reading →

Posted in Develop Understanding | Tagged blame, choosing influences, dissatisfaction, perception, reality, work | Comments Off

Reality Check: That Which Strikes Fear

Posted on April 27, 2019 by RealityCheck

Did you hear the story about the person who called police on a vacuum cleaner that was trapped in the bathroom?
Apparently, the resident could see shadows under the bathroom door. There was obviously something amiss; no one was supposed to be in there. Fearing a burglar, police were called. Continue reading →

Posted in Perception & Reality | Tagged anxiety, perception, reality, worry | Comments Off

Reality Check: What you see is…what you look for?

Posted on April 21, 2019 by RealityCheck

Last post, my focus was, “What you see is what you get.” This time, I’m looking at the connection between what we look for and what we see.
You’ve almost certainly experienced this connection. For example, if you walk a beach searching for sea glass, you often see it. If you have no interest in sea glass, you could walk beaches for miles and never know that sea glass even exists.
What we look for makes a difference in what we see. Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged choosing thoughts, gratitude, perception | Comments Off

Reality Check: What you see is what you get

Posted on April 13, 2019 by RealityCheck

WYSIWYG, pronounced “whizzywig,” means, “What you see is what you get.” I know the phrase from the olden days of computers—back when it was a big deal to have the display on the screen actually reflect what was printed. Computer technology has come a long way.
Some people use, “What you see is what you get” to describe themselves. (Here’s a little trivia gem: apparently it was Flip Wilson who made it popular.) WYSIWYG essentially declares, “This is who I am, no pretension, no airs, no hidden agendas. I truly am the face that I present to the world.”
There’s a positive to that, of course. People get to know you and trust that there’s no contradictory backstory.
As with so many positive actions, there can also be negative applications. Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged "should", criticism, examining wants, improving relationships | Comments Off

Reality Check: Strength or Weakness?

Posted on April 6, 2019 by RealityCheck

Every one of us has specific strengths. If you like to learn about yourself, then it can be quite satisfying to figure out your individual strengths and how to best use them to reach your goals.
Strengths are generally positive attributes; qualities that we take pride in. If you take a few minutes now to make a list of your strengths, what would you find?
For example, your strengths might be: hard-working, self-confident, ambitious, principled, fair. Those all sound pretty positive, eh? Continue reading →

Posted in Develop Understanding | Tagged fairness, improving relationships, perception, self-evaluation | Comments Off

Reality Check: Telling It Like It Is

Posted on March 31, 2019 by RealityCheck

Do you find it difficult to talk about things that are really important?
It’s easier to talk about the trivial, especially when we agree. We commiserate about the weather and the price of gas. We share our delight about the upcoming spring, and despair of the potholes. There seems no limit to the words we speak about topics that don’t matter all that much. Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged examining options, gratitude, guilt, reality | Comments Off

Reality Check: What makes a difference?

Posted on March 24, 2019 by RealityCheck

Do you want to make a difference? When asked about their purpose or goals in life, many will answer with some variation of, “I want to make a difference and do something that matters.”
Often, that wish is connected to helping others—to direct one’s energies toward something longer-lasting and bigger than oneself.
That’s all reasonable. An altruistic purpose can be satisfying for the individual and it might even be helpful for society.
However, so often, the sticky part of a lofty goal is in the details. How, exactly, might you make a difference? How big a difference do you need to make? What specific difference are you aiming for? Continue reading →

Posted in Satisfaction | Tagged choosing actions, helpful, need satisfaction, persistence | Comments Off