Tag Archives: criticism

Reality Check: Sidestep your Traps

Posted on September 10, 2017 by RealityCheck

Why do I keep doing that? I should know better by now! That’s the way Sophie beats herself up after conversations with her mother. Why, indeed? The relationship with her mom was never great. Sophie is warm and outgoing, whereas … Continue reading →

Posted in Control and Choice | Tagged conflict, criticism, freedom, perception, power | Comments Off

Reality Check: Joe’s New Job

Posted on August 7, 2016 by RealityCheck

Joe’s employment history could be described as “spotty.” It’s not that he can’t find work; Joe is able to get hired relatively easily. He’s articulate and presents himself in an interview as being pleasant and intelligent. However, Joe has developed … Continue reading →

Posted in Workplace | Tagged comparing with others, criticism, examining wants, making choices, self-evaluation | Comments Off

Reality Check: Better Left Unsaid?

Posted on August 9, 2015 by RealityCheck

Communication is generally recognized as being essential to the development of satisfying relationships. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships here. All kinds of relationships: friends, work-related, parent-child, student-teacher, benefit when people can communicate effectively. Did you notice the word … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged criticism, frustration, improving relationships | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Angry Stance

Posted on June 7, 2015 by RealityCheck

Do you have an automatic mode? That is, do you wake up feeling pretty much the same every day? Is your first reaction to a situation more or less the same, despite whether the situation is positive or negative? Some … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged "should", criticism, dissatisfaction, perception | Comments Off

Reality Check: Their Good News

Posted on March 8, 2015 by RealityCheck

How do you respond when someone tells you their good news? In his book Flourish, Martin Seligman describes four ways of responding, and suggests that only one of those ways is helpful for relationship building. Let’s look at an example. … Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged criticism, happiness, improving relationships | Comments Off

Reality Check: “Should” versus “Could”

Posted on January 11, 2015 by RealityCheck

One little word sometimes makes a world of difference, doesn’t it? Some are obvious contrasts: “I love you” versus “I hate you;” or “I don’t care” versus “I do care.” However, other small changes are not so obvious, yet have … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged "should", criticism, guilt, self-evaluation | Comments Off

Reality Check: The Offer of Information

Posted on June 1, 2014 by RealityCheck

A choice theory premise is that we can’t control other people; however, we can offer information. Someone who accepts information might learn a new fact, be persuaded to make a decision, or be influenced to act differently. Fundamentally, though, what … Continue reading →

Posted in Helping Others | Tagged criticism, offering information, perception | Comments Off

Reality Check: Experiments in Encouragement

Posted on March 30, 2014 by RealityCheck

How do we learn? One effective method involves coming up with an idea and then trying an experiment to see whether the idea works as we think it will. Observe what happens, and then draw a conclusion based on what … Continue reading →

Posted in Helping Others | Tagged criticism, learning, offering information | Comments Off

Reality Check: When Evaluation Gets Personal

Posted on March 16, 2014 by RealityCheck

Last column, I offered suggestions regarding workplace evaluations and ways to prepare so as to gain some control over what can be a stressful situation. The workplace is not the only venue where we are evaluated! What’s happening when your … Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Behaviour | Tagged criticism, offering information, perception, self-evaluation | Comments Off

Reality Check: Evaluation time

Posted on March 9, 2014 by RealityCheck

At some point in our lives, most of us are evaluated. Evaluation may be a rare, stress-filled event or a routine, near-constant process. Evaluation occurs at school, when a teacher assigns a grade. As adults, we are often evaluated in … Continue reading →

Posted in Workplace | Tagged anxiety, criticism, self-evaluation | Comments Off