Reality Check: Choosing Your Lens

Posted on May 23, 2021 by RealityCheck

When we try on different glasses, it’s clear that the lens we use makes a huge difference in what we see. Some lenses make everything clearer; others muddy and distort.
In these troubled times, some are looking through an exclusively negative lens. For example, a young man feels anxious all the time. A middle-aged woman feels resentful because she is not allowed to travel. An older gentleman feels isolated because he can’t attend the social outings he enjoyed so much.
Are these feelings widespread? Or is it just these three people? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Unexpected Kindness

Posted on May 16, 2021 by RealityCheck

Asparagus season reminds me of an incident that’s been a helpful example for me over the years.
One spring long ago, when the emerging asparagus was at its peak, I had invited some acquaintances for dinner. Among my guests was Paula, known as a “foodie” because of her organic farm and gourmet knowledge. From my youthful perspective, she was both fascinating and intimidating.
While chatting with me in the kitchen, Paula talked about the joy of asparagus. When it’s perfectly cooked, tender-crisp, there’s nothing else like it.
At that time, multi-tasking was well beyond me, and I certainly couldn’t manage cooking and talking at the same time. When I turned away from our sparkling conversation to take the lid off the asparagus pot, Paula and I simultaneously peered in. What did we see? A soggy, over-cooked mess. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: When We Recommend

Posted on May 9, 2021 by RealityCheck

Have you ever written a letter of recommendation? Some people, especially teachers, managers, or business and community group leaders, are often asked to write recommendations for people they know.
If you are not involved in the world of formal, paid work, recommendation letters may never cross your mind. However, the idea and the activity of writing them can have value anywhere. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Encouragement of Youth

Posted on May 3, 2021 by RealityCheck

The recent passing of Prince Philip reminded me about the Duke of Edinburgh award, and that it’s important to encourage youth in positive directions.
Encouragement—or a lack of encouragement—can make a significant difference for us, whether we are youthful or seasoned. The information we receive and the influences we have play a significant role in our choices and our lives.
So, what were those positive directions that the award encouraged? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Realistic and Attainable

Posted on April 25, 2021 by RealityCheck

It’s difficult to travel now, as you well know. So when Anna got the call that her grandfather was nearing the end of his life, it presented a real quandary. Should she pack up and set off to be with him? Or should she stay home? After all, pandemic restrictions provide a legitimate reason for avoiding travel.
She weighed the pros and cons, just as you would. Ultimately, despite the expense and inconvenience, Anna chose to go. In her mind, it was the right thing to do.
Although Anna’s family welcomed her, she was soon reminded of old patterns and perceptions that she is unheard, unappreciated, and uninteresting. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Adding Value

Posted on April 18, 2021 by RealityCheck

In the world of work, adding value is what you need to do if you want to keep your customers. Whether you are making a product or delivering a service, people only want to pay for value, don’t they? Customers don’t want to pay for wasted time, for mistakes, or for features that they don’t want.
While we usually associate adding value with workplace activities, we can apply the concept to other areas of our lives, too.
If you are feeling bored or uncertain of purpose during difficult times, you might want to try the “adding value” perspective. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Benefit of Mistakes

Posted on April 11, 2021 by RealityCheck

“Oops! I made a mistake.”
Is there anyone out there who genuinely believes that they’ve never made a mistake? If that’s you, then I guess you can stop reading now. This column is for the rest of us—the mere mortals.
One of the great gifts of life is the freedom to make mistakes. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: A Morning Outlook

Posted on April 4, 2021 by RealityCheck

How’s your morning outlook? Sunny and bright? Cold and dreary? Maybe it’s unsettled; you’ll wait to see how the day goes.
These outlooks could be describing the weather forecast, but our internal outlook is more interesting. What control do we have over our morning outlook?
Eric Barker, the author of, “Barking Up the Wrong Tree” writes about how we can make life better. In his blog post, “Morning Ritual; The 7 steps that will make you happy all day” he makes this suggestion: If you want a better morning, start the night before. Think of something that you can look forward to tomorrow. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Companions on our Journey

Posted on March 28, 2021 by RealityCheck

If you associate Pythagoras with unhappy high-school math memories, then you might be surprised to find a quote attributed to him about friendship and happiness.
Here it is: “Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life.”
Before I continue, I should point out that it’s difficult to get solid verification about what a particular philosopher may or may not have said over 2000 years ago. Maybe Pythagoras said it; maybe not. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Strategy for Forgetfulness

Posted on March 21, 2021 by RealityCheck

Anecdotal evidence suggests that lots of folks fear that they are forgetful. Last column, I suggested that one reason people feel overwhelmed is because they are. We’re busy, perhaps anxious, yet tasks keep coming. We lose track and forget.
While I can’t help you fix your memory, here are a few strategies that might help you get more control.
Are your concerns about general life maintenance? For example, do you misplace documents? Forget deadlines? Forget to pay bills? Run out of essentials? Continue reading →

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