Reality Check: The Shifting Sands of Wants

Posted on April 27, 2026 by RealityCheck

What do you want? What do you really, really want? Some people don’t like to think about what they want. They believe that it’s selfish, or so unattainable that it’s depressing to think about it. Maybe we believe there is so much going on; we can’t be bothered with thinking about what we want.
Yet, the first word, the “W” in the WDEP process for Reality Therapy, is Want. What do I want? Does it matter? Of course it does. Otherwise, how will you know when you have it? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: A Little Encouragement; Big Results

Posted on April 20, 2026 by RealityCheck

We can get news from all over the world. Some good; some awful. Along with current events, we also get information about what others are doing. That news often includes their notable accomplishments and tremendous success.
Like so much of what we see and read, we can perceive these stories in different ways. We could use them as powerful inspirations: this is what other people do, even in more difficult circumstances than ours. We might see an accomplishment story and be motivated to say, “Hey! If they can do this, so can I!” These examples can be effective motivators to spur action on our part.
And then, there is another way of looking. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Does Worry Have an Upside?

Posted on April 13, 2026 by RealityCheck

Unpleasant emotions. Do you ever experience them? Sadness, anger, resentment… I suspect you can easily come up with a list of feelings you’d happily do without.
Worry may be on your list. You might think of it as anxiety, concern, or something else. No matter what you call it, it’s that ominous feeling that something bad is going to happen, there’s probably nothing you can do about it, but you can’t get it out of your head. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Generosity of Not Taking Offense

Posted on April 6, 2026 by RealityCheck

Ask anyone, “Is it good to be generous?” I think most would say yes; generosity is a desirable trait. To be seen as being mean and selfish is insulting.
Generosity isn’t only about money or material goods. People who give of their time or their knowledge are also showing generosity. Someone who provides encouragement or even a listening ear demonstrates generosity too.
James Clear, the author of “Atomic Habits,” suggests different ways of looking at generosity. This example caught my attention: Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Great Expectations

Posted on March 30, 2026 by RealityCheck

An acquaintance suggested that I watch a new documentary. I respect his opinion and the topic sounded interesting, so I had great expectations.
When a rainy day finally came along and I took the opportunity to watch it, I was disappointed. As the ending credits rolled, I thought, “There’s an hour of my life I won’t get back.”
However, there was a useful outcome;
Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Evaluation Time

Posted on March 23, 2026 by RealityCheck

Specific words can evoke strong emotions, and for some people, the word “evaluation” is one of them.
What comes to your mind when you hear “evaluation”? Does it remind you of school days, of teachers constantly evaluating your work? (perhaps with disappointing findings?)
Or maybe you associate evaluation with the workplace. Here, we have managers or other people in positions of authority who let us know, often in a formal meeting, whether we are measuring up. Or not. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Is “Should” Running Your Life?

Posted on March 16, 2026 by RealityCheck

I should wash the dog. And I should prepare that report; check on Harry, run those errands and go through the stack of mail on my desk. There are lots of activities that I really should do.
Do you have a collection of “shoulds?” Perhaps the “shoulds” in your life are demands from others: family, friends, workplace, community, even society as a whole. Or maybe they come primarily from inside your own head.
Either way, when we perceive that our life is full of “shoulds,” it’s understandable that we can feel trapped. Can we ever get free? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Reminisce or Ruminate?

Posted on March 9, 2026 by RealityCheck

The ability to remember is a mixed blessing, isn’t it? For example, we can look back and relive happy times with the people we love. Those pleasant memories can serve to remind us of the love and belonging that we have in our lives, even if we are not feeling it right at the moment.
Looking back can also help to satisfy our other basic needs. Power, freedom, fun; they get a boost when we think about our successes, when we recall precious experiences of freedom or warm our hearts with memories of days filled with fun. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: More Questions Than Answers

Posted on March 2, 2026 by RealityCheck

I often have more questions than answers. As soon as I find the answer to one question, more questions pop up. Is that true for you also?
Having a curious mind can be a delightful asset; this is how we learn! (Well, it’s one way.) On the other hand, unlimited curiosity also means that we are never finished learning, doesn’t it?
In Choice Theory, Dr. Glasser associates learning with fun. Therefore, I’m going to choose the mindset that we who have inquisitive minds must be having all kinds of fun.
At the moment, the questions that piqued my curiosity involve emotions and what we can do about them! For example, let’s say you woke up feeling vaguely discouraged; feeling a little blah. What to do? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: A Stress Test

Posted on February 23, 2026 by RealityCheck

This is not a test. However, if you want a test, here are a few questions you might ask. On a scale from 1 to 10, how stressed are you? How do you know that you are stressed? Do you have any control over that whole mix of physical symptoms, feelings, thoughts and actions that can go along with being stressed?
Almost a decade ago, I had come across a popular TED talk by health psychologist Kelly McGonigal. It was called “How to Make Stress Your Friend,” so you can understand why it was popular. Here we are, buzzing with anxieties and frustrations that we associate with stress, and it turns out that stress could be our friend! Who knew? Continue reading →

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