Tag Archives: choosing actions

Reality Check: When We Make A Change

Posted on June 11, 2023 by RealityCheck

The scenario outlined in my recent column on people-pleasing prompted comments from readers who agree—in that situation, it would be helpful if the people-pleaser made some changes. When we’re in a relationship where one person attempts to control the other, … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: What a Gift Can Do

Posted on May 7, 2023 by RealityCheck

Gift-giving occasions are so common that they can seem like an obligatory nuisance or, more cynically, a corporate effort to boost consumerism. However, a thoughtful gift can have a genuine impact. Giving a gift can show that you care. Yet … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Louder than Thoughts or Feelings

Posted on April 30, 2023 by RealityCheck

“Actions speak louder than words” is an old saying. Do you think it’s true? Many of us do. Words can be empty but actions demonstrate who we really are. Choice Theory offers an extension to that idea by suggesting that … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Paths We Select Through Our Choices

Posted on April 23, 2023 by RealityCheck

One of the benefits of writing is that people sometimes tell me their stories. I appreciate getting them, especially stories about choices. Recently, a young woman I’ll call Rebecca emailed me. We are acquainted, so the contact wasn’t completely unexpected. … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Negotiating Differences in a Relationship

Posted on February 26, 2023 by RealityCheck

The seventh and final caring habit in Dr. Glasser’s list of caring habits is “always negotiating disagreements,” which I refer to as negotiating differences. It might seem odd to think of negotiations when we’re talking about personal relationships. Negotiating sounds … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Habit of Respect

Posted on February 19, 2023 by RealityCheck

If you’ve been following recent columns, you’ll know that I’ve been examining Dr. Glasser’s caring habits for building relationships, one at a time. To recap, those habits are: supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting, and negotiating differences. We’ve now come … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Make Something Good Happen

Posted on January 5, 2023 by RealityCheck

The transition from one year to the next often motivates us to make a change, preferably for the better. Maybe you want to set out on a new adventure or improve a relationship. Holidays often include opportunities to get together. … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Reality of Tradeoffs

Posted on December 18, 2022 by RealityCheck

Choices often require tradeoffs—we give up one thing to have another. We do this so frequently that we’re often not aware of it. For example, if you’ve driven around today, then you made a tradeoff. You traded off the safety … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: So What If I’m Rejected?

Posted on November 27, 2022 by RealityCheck

Self-evaluation in choice theory encourages us to honestly ask, “Is what I’m doing working well for me?” If things are going well, we would likely choose to continue. If they’re not, we might make a change. Does that seem like … Continue reading →

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Reality Check: How Can I Make This Work?

Posted on October 30, 2022 by RealityCheck

Let’s say you have a challenge in your life. Most of us do at some point; oftentimes, we have multiple challenges at the same time. But for the sake of simplicity, let’s say we have just one challenge. I’ll use … Continue reading →

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