Reality Check: Grumbling and Gratitudes

Posted on December 5, 2021 by RealityCheck

Has anyone done you wrong at any point in your life? I suspect that it’s a rare person who could answer, “No.” For most, at some point, someone did not treat us well.
Have you also noticed that many grievances are being aired? There’s blaming, criticizing, finger-pointing, all pointing toward the reality that current conditions are far from perfect.
Of course current conditions are far from perfect. Some grievances are undoubtedly justified. However, conditions have always been imperfect and no matter what new policies are implemented, I don’t think utopia will come any time soon. For one thing, my utopia and your utopia likely look different, so one of us is bound to miss out.
Where we focus has an effect on us. If we look for opportunities for grievance, we can find them. When we focus on grievance, our outlook becomes grievance-centred. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Do You Feel Appreciated?

Posted on November 28, 2021 by RealityCheck

Knowing that we are genuinely appreciated is satisfying. From a choice theory perspective, we might say that appreciation satisfies our need for power, recognition, esteem.
Regardless of how we analyze it, appreciation feels good. I sincerely hope that you have personal experience of this.
However, you may also be familiar with the other side of the coin. That is, you go out of your way to do good but you perceive that it’s not appreciated. While you may not be doing it for the “glory,” it’s still more encouraging to have your efforts acknowledged rather than ignored. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Urgency and Importance

Posted on November 21, 2021 by RealityCheck

As we approach the end of a second unusual year, people are making plans for the holidays. So much is so different now. There are decisions to make about gatherings, purchases, and traditions. How do you decide what to do?
This seems like an appropriate time to look at a tool by Dr. Stephen Covey from his book, First Things First. He calls it the Time Management Matrix, which is a rather fancy name for a table with two columns and two rows.
Its purpose? To help us organize activities based on urgency and importance. Ask, “Is this task urgent or not urgent?” And, “Is the task important or not important?” Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Lost for Words?

Posted on November 15, 2021 by RealityCheck

Some people instinctively know the right thing to say in difficult situations. And then there are the rest of us; we who struggle to find words when the going gets tough.
Sadness, illness or loss will likely visit us and the people we love at some point. When it happens, it can be hard to know what to say. Combine that uncertainty with a fear of making things worse and some of us would rather avoid saying anything at all. Better to be quiet than hurtful, even inadvertently.
As an example, let’s say that our friend Lynn is going through a difficult time in her life. We want to provide some kind of support and encouragement. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Adapting for the Future

Posted on November 7, 2021 by RealityCheck

If you gained two pounds last weekend, will you weigh a hundred pounds more in a year? Look ahead twenty years. At that rate, you’ve expanded by 2000 pounds! That wouldn’t be a ton of fun, would it?
We know it’s absurd to project into the future that way. A change over a short time won’t necessarily continue at the same rate. While it’s possible that you could gain the hundred pounds, it’s also possible that something completely different will happen—a smaller gain, no change, or even a loss.
One reason for events to change course is our ability to adapt. For the weight gain, we have choices in how we respond. If the increase was not what we wanted, we might change our behaviour. Supersize portions and desserts go by the wayside for a while. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: When We Share Stories

Posted on October 31, 2021 by RealityCheck

Our culture includes so many forms of story-sharing. There are documentaries, movies, books, TED talks, and so on. We share stories of difficulties, actions, triumphs and disasters, both truth and fiction.
Do you share stories of your life? Do you value the stories that others share with you? Ultimately, are there both positive and negative aspects to sharing those stories?
I’ll share this story about Anne (not her real name) as an example for you. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Can We Choose Our Response?

Posted on October 24, 2021 by RealityCheck

Travelling can be difficult at the best of times. As these times aren’t exactly the best of times, opportunities for difficulties are even higher now. Here’s a travel story; it’s about choices.
For months, a friend we’ll call Emma has been hoping to attend a special family occasion. To do so, she’ll need to fly.
We all know by now that forms, testing and procedures are required. Emma filled out the forms and made all the arrangements that she understood to be necessary.
As Emma stood in line at the ticket counter, everyone in the line-up became well aware that there was some kind of difficulty with the paperwork for the group in front of her. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: I’d Rather Choose…

Posted on October 17, 2021 by RealityCheck

One of the tips from a popular money-management book entitled “The Smart Cookies” is something the authors refer to as the “Rather Factor.” It’s easy to forget a budget when we are faced with an appealing impulse purchase. After we’ve spent the money, then we wish we hadn’t done it. Sometimes, we need a way to remind ourselves of our priorities.
The Smart Cookies tip is called the “Rather Card.” Make a little card to keep with your credit or debit card so you’ll see it when it matters. The power of the card is in what you’ve written on it. One format is, “I’d rather have enough money to..… than spend my money on…..”
For example, “I’d rather have enough money to buy groceries than spend my money on fast food.” When you’re at the burger shop, that little card is like a speed bump that slows you down to ask, “Wait! Is this really what I want to do?” It’s a reminder that we have choice.
But it’s not only money matters where we can get distracted from our priorities. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: To-Dos and Purpose

Posted on October 10, 2021 by RealityCheck

How’s your to-do list? Does it motivate you by giving you purpose and direction? Or is it more like a collection of chores—a hamster wheel that demands lots of effort to keep going round and round but doesn’t seem to get you anywhere?
As much as I’d like to say “We have choice” in our tasks, realistically, our choices depend on our circumstances. Your reality may be that you don’t have much choice. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: You and Me Against the Problem

Posted on October 4, 2021 by RealityCheck

Just when everything seemed to be going well, Amy got a wakeup call. It was a “heart incident,” and it demanded that she turn her attention toward aspects of her life that she had neglected.
You probably know the drill. Amy could no longer ignore her health and assume that life would carry on as normal. Nope. She would have to get regular exercise. She’d have to cut down on the delicious meals that she loves. She was even told to find some way to reduce her stress.
Amy understands that if she wants to live a long, healthy life, she doesn’t have a choice. These changes are for her own good. Continue reading →

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